Comment on Are your parents "supposed" to be your role models?
Kookie215@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah they are, its like the main part of their job. Some are just really shit at it.
I’m a father of 5 and it’s always in the front of my mind.
Modelling good behaviour is the most effective parenting method.
If they see you being a hypocrite and acting like an angry fool while trying to force them to be angels, they will just rebel against you.
I agree, because I was the kid who didn’t have any respect for a hypocritical parent.
My mom did a very good job at teaching me that respect is something that is earned and THEN she taught me to think independently and stand up for myself. These are all things she was supposed to do of course. However she followed that up with becoming an alcoholic and crack addict who would leave me alone all the time so she could go party for days. Then was absolutely flabbergasted when I showed her that same level of respect and didn’t follow her rules anymore.
I was in counseling and anger management and truly believed I was the problem at the time, but looking back now that I’m in my 30’s, what did she expect? She’s the one that taught me not to take any shit, and then she started giving me shit.
I’m sorry to hear that dude.
I’m glad you’ve been able to make some progress getting past the bullshit.
Some inadvertently succeed at being guides of what not to be
FatTony@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Well shit.
shyguyblue@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My parents served as an example of “what not to do”.
I made a personal vow years ago, that i would never be what my dad was to me, to anybody else…
Cenzorrll@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Your role models are your own. If you aren’t modeling your behavior after your parents, then they aren’t your role models, straight up. You may model certain behaviors from them, but not others.
Break it down a smidge. What role are you modeling? If you had a really good teacher in the past, and you use how they taught you to teach someone else, they are the role model for you when teaching someone, but they aren’t your role model for something like how to treat your partners.
That’s the neat thing about being your own person. You get to be who you want, treat people how you want. Your role models are who you want them to be. I would caution against being an asshole, though. Don’t model asshole behavior.
lordnikon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Also parents can still be role models even if they are shit parents. You just flip the script from be like these people to a list of what not to do.
The fact you are asking this question shows great self awareness and that’s half the battle right there.