hey SnotFlickerman, give yourself some credit. nobody is strong enough to handle a relationship with someone dedicated to self destruction. thats kind of the point. your life is just as worthless as everyone else’s, whatever that might mean for you. go appreciate someone worthy of your time.
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SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
This just makes me sad because I spent more than a decade trying to be patient and kind with her crazy level 10 where me trying to separate during an argument by leaving the apartment would result in her trying to trap me in the apartment, physically restrain me from leaving, saying I never loved her, threats of suicide and trying to make me watch her self-harm or listen/watch to a suicide attempt. The final straw was her trying to kill herself with my cancer medication, it felt like she was trying to kill both of us.
I spend every day feeling like I wasn’t strong enough and I failed her. I feel like I gave my life to her and I failed her and my life isn’t worth anything now.
Num10ck@lemmy.world 6 days ago
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
go appreciate someone worthy of your time.
it’s not like i’ve gotten a ton of attention from women throughout my life, and it’s not like women are clamoring for a middle aged guy with cancer, but sure, somehow someone is suddenly gonna give a shit i exist.
Num10ck@lemmy.world 6 days ago
valid points, sure. but you have no idea how low the bar is out there. if you are actually a decent human being, you’re buoyant. btw thanks for existing.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
the bar being low is why i was with my last partner.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Look up CPTSD, fellow victim. She’s a narcissist and it’s not your fault
Apthianos@lemmy.world 6 days ago
This sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. My ex did the same exact stuff. There are a lot of books about it. “I hate you, don’t leave me” is a really great book to read. Helped me out a lot with my ex.
rockSlayer@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I appreciate you trying to empathize, but please stop medicalizing shitty behavior. It doesn’t matter that you were somewhat correct.
Apthianos@lemmy.world 6 days ago
“Medicalizing shitty behavior”? What exactly would be the alternative? If we don’t categorize it then how else would we find a community of people to get help. These kind of thought process disorders not only destroy the lives of those who have it but also the ones around them. It’s more of a start so people can move forward with figuring things out. “Brain Energy” actually helped me out the most with understanding these “shitty behaviors”. These people are fucked in my opinion because they don’t think they need help. Unless they are low functioning. The best thing to do is keep your distance or get away completely.
rockSlayer@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I know people who have bpd and bipolar disorders. There’s a distinct possibility that I do to. Do you know what I don’t do? Abuse people. That’s why it’s a problem to claim every shitty thing is due to a mental illness. It’s best to condemn the behavior instead of trying to justify it.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
Further, the book is kind of notoriously transphobic…
rockSlayer@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I don’t know if that’s true, but medicalizing behavior is the fast track to demonizing the millions of people who have the conditions without being a shitty person.
Apthianos@lemmy.world 5 days ago
It looks like you’re right. It’s an old book. I read it like 8 years ago. What other books would be better?
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
Borderline, Bipolar II, and untreated ADHD because the bipolar meds conflicted with any potential ADHD meds.