This just makes me sad because I spent more than a decade trying to be patient and kind with her crazy level 10 where me trying to separate during an argument by leaving the apartment would result in her trying to trap me in the apartment, physically restrain me from leaving, saying I never loved her, threats of suicide and trying to make me watch her self-harm or listen/watch to a suicide attempt. The final straw was her trying to kill herself with my cancer medication, it felt like she was trying to kill both of us.
I spend every day feeling like I wasn’t strong enough and I failed her. I feel like I gave my life to her and I failed her and my life isn’t worth anything now.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 year ago
An ex had a breakdown (before we were together, when I was pursuing her) and we talked it out. At the end, she said “Well, now I know that you can handle me.” I look back on her as crazier than I realized during the relationship. I don’t have good feelings toward her in that regard. I still respect her for instilling a lot of good traits in how I view the world, but holy shit.