Comment on Sometimes the advice "just be yourself" is bad advice.

NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

• possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  People are highly judgmental and will reject people who are different. It isn’t something you can control since it happens at a subconscious layer.

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  • NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Agree

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• M137@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  The advice is/can be used in a ton of different situations, you seem to only think it’s for a very narrow and small part of those. And even then, it’s not always the best thing, someone can be themselves 99.99% of the time but sometimes it’s better to hold it back. Even something as simple as if they’re meeting your parents for the first time and you know there will be problems if you don’t tell them to not mention something, act like they think differently about something etc.

  This very much isn’t just about a possible partner for you and all the time. I don’t understand how you thought that was the only thing. It’s like if someone said a common feature of cars might not be worth keeping on all the time and you read that as only a specific line of Volvo cars, in very specific situations and like you can’t turn it on and off. See how weird and dumb that is?

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  • NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Pal, the only one thinking about “partners” here is you. I was referinng to human interaction as a whole, friends, coworkers, family, etc. “Be yourself” is and advice to seek your place among other that likes how you are, whether you’re a piece of shit or a saint.

    Although, I’ll grant you that there are instance where is good to “not be yourself”, like if you’re a Queer folk in a conservative environment.

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• bitcrafter@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Nah, i rather be with an honest piece of shit than someone how “pretends” to be a good person.

  On the other hand, someone who “pretends” to be a good person all of the time is essentially indistinguishable from an actual good person.

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  • NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    If you pretends “all the time” then i don’t think you’re pretending.

    Is like those people with Imposter syndrome who “pretend” to be capable by being actually capable.

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