hoshikarakitaridia

@hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Depends on how long I think. If it was just 5min that’s fine, if it’s more than that it’s at least weird and at most a dick move.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Dream on⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Nice

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Was my ex really sorry/guilty?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Echoing the rest of the comments here: as soon as he knew you were 13, for him to continue dating you is fucked up.

  Also for him to blame you for making him date you is absolutely bizarre and stupid. HE decides whom to date.

  And now to answer your question: I can only assume he doesn’t feel sorry. I could believe he might feel guilty but that’s because he realizes how fucked up the whole thing is. I can’t say for sure, and I don’t think he really tries to reflect, otherwise he wouldn’t even have gone that far.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Baldur’s Gate 4 may happen eventually, but not with Larian Studios⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That is so stupid it makes me mad.

  WotC and Hasbro are truly the Dalton’s of tabletop gaming.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨OF alternative fediverse?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The Csam caching is the worst issue.

  So many countries basically regulate that if you have Csam on your PC you can go to jail. So if you’re hosting, and even if it gets deleted, that still means it was on the server. And that shit is bad.

  Legally frightening.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I want a boyfriend, but I feel like I don't deserve to have one, and I keep alternating between those two thoughts which is making me feel confused. Is this normal?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  To me it sounds like something other than depression, however it doesn’t matter because you are clearly right, these are extremely unhealthy thinking patterns and it is a symptom of maybe bigger issues you need to address.

  And it is true, everyone deserves love and there’s nothing about you that makes you categorically undesirable. Just some things specific people like or don’t like about you.

  You should consider talking to a therapist, or at least someone who is not involved with you day-to-day but understands you. Having someone reality check your thoughts, especially those ones, can be extremely helpful to get a better frame of reference against those toxic thoughts, that are often times not rooted in reality.g

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I think this is not the right community for random news

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do you get over a breakup with someone who was (and is) also a very close friend?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You too, it sounds like you got this on your own already even if it’s difficult, but if you need to talk you can hit me up anytime:)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do you get over a breakup with someone who was (and is) also a very close friend?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Sounds like you’re going through a lot.

  First off,what other have told you is the best basic advice. There’s nothing you can do and you have to assume she won’t change her mind. You also said you are 23 and you feel like you are being childish. That’s absolutely not true, if someone broke up at 30 or 40 or 50 or whatever with a long time friend it would be just as rough. This situation is hard, and there’s no learning unfortunately and no preparation, it just sucks.

  And that is what I would say as well: it’s fucked up. It sucks. It’s fine to feel betrayed and sad and angry and lonely. It’s very fair to feel that way, because you lost something important. It’s ok to not feel ok and it’s normal to be so moved by something so hard.

  Maybe there’s something to say for changing your routine a bit. Finding other friends circles that she is not involved in, trying new hobbies and everything. That way you have something new to think about and other people to talk to - this might help with her being around parties every now and again.

  Also make sure you take care of yourself, start building up a new routine.

  It could be beneficial to talk to her when your feelings towards her are not as strong anymore, but it will always be awkward and there’s nothing to expect from it. It will just be a conversation and who knows where it goes.

  These are all steps that can help you move on, but of course there is no handbook for breakups so this could look very different for everyone.

  Although I haven’t been in your situation it sounds really rough and I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sure you’ll find someone else who loves you and will stick around.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Just a reminder... (with thanks to Ice Cube)⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  (Okay)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fediverse Report – #116⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This does not address the issue of load balancing and choosing the server though. This only works if the standard option for your server is reliable and rotated per registration.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Is it normal I still feel bad even though I’m trying to do good and redeem myself?

  Yes it is. People hold on to regrets for a whole host of reasons. Some more understandable than others.

  But being good is not a value. It doesn’t stay up or down and it doesn’t get “remedied” in the traditional way. The amount of caring for others you do is awesome.

  And yet, not saying no is an extremely unhealthy habit. Everyone has boundaries, and other people don’t realize how things drain your energy if you don’t say no. If you’re not looking out for yourself, who is?

  The things in your list, almost all of them are nice in theory, but in practice they can run you into the ground.

  • battling your instincts and personality
  • feeling very guilty about every little mistake
  • doing odd jobs no matter the person or task or how much energy you have
  • not saying no

  Look at this list. This looks almost self-destructive. It’s a testament to you that you are able to survive considering all these habits, but this is way past noble.

  Please say no if you feel you need to, never agree if you you really don’t want to, only do odd jobs if they are appropriate, extend some grace for all of your mistakes and never suppress your personality. These are selfish things, but you are the only one who can be selfish for you, so look out for yourself.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s good to reflect on things, but you are beating yourself down for it. That’s never appropriate, especially because people like you, who are self aware and want the best for others, are very much needed in this world.

  Let’s say whatever you did that ended the marriage was bad, and they’d both be together if you didn’t do it.

  You were 6. Even if you intended this, how the hell is a 6 year old gonna be able to grasp the consequences of their actions. People can do really bad things at any age, but at such a young age, most of the things that happen because of your actions are out of you hands.

  Do other people blame you for it? Because that is fucked up. They should know better. You are already reflecting, but blaming literally never helps anyone. And that goes for yourself as well, don’t blame yourself, no matter what you did. You can take responsibility and try to repair the damage to the degree you can, but never blame yourself for not doing things that you are unable to do. Do your best, and that’s all you can do. Mistakes are par for the course.

  Marriages are made of 2 people. You are not part of that marriage, even if you are part of the family. If your sole actions managed to split the marriage, that suggests so much else was going wrong. Did they trust each other enough? Why were they not able to handle whatever their child did? How come they didn’t make up again after whatever you did, or they didn’t at least try? See how many avenues those two have to fix it? But they didn’t. That’s not on anyone else, but them. A working marriage extends a truckload of trust, grace, and love to each other, and I suspect, even if your actions rocked the boat, that boat was a nut shell with fish sized holes in it. There’s no other way your actions could lead to this. Your actions might have been the match, but look at the barrels of gasoline that fueled the fire. At that point, there’s so many things that can destroy the marriage, because the marriage was very shakey in the first place.

  Trying to think of the worst things you could have done to lead your parents to part, there’s nothing a 6 year can do that makes them responsible for it. Please don’t beat yourself down - the amount of self reflection you do leads me to think you are an awesome human being and people around you should be grateful for how much you care for them.

  TL;DR There’s no way in hell you were or are responsible for what happened to your parents marriage, no matter what you did.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tity more tity, the Greed is sickening⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Aww they’re growing up to be a gold digger

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Stellar Blade's devs would like you to know you don't need a PSN account on PC as they work on the region lock problem⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Friend of mine was looking forward to this one and he was so sad when he read it has denuvo.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fediverse Report – #116⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah this one stings but it needs to be brought up, so we can make this way easier.

  There’s gotta be a way to design this so users can partly skip the process of searching for a good platform. Maybe using a controversial AI solution for recommending a platform based on some Keywords from the user? Maybe just based on a random algorithm for trusted servers? Maybe as you interact we make it easy to switch servers and as soon as you like the feed you can join?

  There’s gotta be something better. I hope we get there.

  If we get to the point where people can overcome the entry barrier, I think this will also increase user retention and the overall fediverse literacy on the platforms themselves.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Shitty Fiction⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Didn’t know that, that’s wild.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are we the dark timeline?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes.

  I always say the Internet is more vast than it is comprehensive. You will find infinite things. Infinite good things, but also infinite bad things, and infinite things on most topic.

  But certain actors on there have an interest to highlight bad things. That makes it real easy to slip into a negative feedback loop. And there’s so much, you will into a bottomless hole.

  And that’s when you always gotta peek your head over the horizon and look for things outside of your periphery. Because there’s more than problems.

  Even if you look back at where we’ve come from, the amount of struggles we’ve overcome already as a society is hard to fathom.

  My point is, either look for both negative and positive news accountings, or do neither and focus on a topic like games, or woodworking, or astronomy and just keep away from the sensational news pieces.

  There’s more to life than news anyway.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Players Have Too Many Options to Spend $80 on a Video Game⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Lots of love for Starbound, that game is underrated af.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fishing games?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  It has “safe seas” now iirc

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Thank you the kitten was my main concern :P

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Things that might be helpful:

  • how long y’all been together?
  • what’s her relationship to her family?
  • how many people and how big is the place?
  • (when) do you intend to get your own place?
  • what country and would you be able to afford your own place soon?
  • are there specific reasons you would move in other than “she lives there and we wanna be together”?
  • how far is the move from your place currently?
  • can you find me an image of a kitten? I love those.

  Also please don’t take Internet advice at face value on such delicate topics, we can show you what to keep in mind, but you are best suited to decide and I’m sure whatever you will decide, you’ll

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨are my friends looking out for me or just ableist?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Totally agree.

  Although as an outsider without any context I find it hard to “recommend” what to do, these are definitely red flags.

  Also the comments about your autism are degrading and mean and your friend should know better. I wanna assume she just doesn’t know better, but that doesn’t change that she should really stop saying those things.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨RFK JR just told us Elon Musk can't use the toilet unassisted⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Person with autism here: the truth is even if some people on the spectrum can’t use the bathroom by themselves, it’s either a comorbidity linked to a different disability or it’s obscenely rare.

  The way autism expresses in different people is very complex and this is this is one of the worst mischaracterizations I’ve ever seen.

  That guy shouldn’t be able to touch the US health department or any other health organization for that matter with a ten foot pole. He is explicitly and intentionally spreading lies on a variety of different topics and should have no authority.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨RFK JR just told us Elon Musk can't use the toilet unassisted⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.

  Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.

  Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.

  Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

  —Martin Niemöller

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Overwatch 2's new Stadium mode won't feature its poster character Tracer at launch, though there's a fair reason why⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  If you wanna go back for nostalgia you can do it but keep in mind when I did that is sucked, so don’t expect too much lol

  If you keep your expectations down it might actually be fun for a bit

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If Nothing is Exposed, Am I Safe?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This is probably the best answer. If everything is truly only running on local network and nothing is exposed with a port through your router, you are very safe.

  Most issues get introduced when running a server exposed to the Internet.

  That said, on the lowest level, if they want to get you, they will. It’s all a risk analysis. And the more interesting you are to adversarial parties, the higher the chances you’ll get pursued.

  If you’re Edward Snowden, 99% your calls and conversations are always on record.

  If you’re John Doe, truly only your ISP cares when they get a law enforcement request because you really pushed the envelope.

  Trending movies are notoriously bad, because movie studios will really try to rake in the revenue.

  On the other hand, ripping music from YouTube, no one cares or is able to track it, so risk is very low.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Assuming a button that makes you smarter, the only smart move is to press it.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Sir, can I introduce you to depression?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Have there been any major changes noticed in countries that have recently split?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Thanks for letting me have a crack at it tho lmao

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Have there been any major changes noticed in countries that have recently split?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Also there’s a big ass wall around north korea.

  Sry someone had to say it :)