Sounds like you’re going through a lot.

First off,what other have told you is the best basic advice. There’s nothing you can do and you have to assume she won’t change her mind. You also said you are 23 and you feel like you are being childish. That’s absolutely not true, if someone broke up at 30 or 40 or 50 or whatever with a long time friend it would be just as rough. This situation is hard, and there’s no learning unfortunately and no preparation, it just sucks.

And that is what I would say as well: it’s fucked up. It sucks. It’s fine to feel betrayed and sad and angry and lonely. It’s very fair to feel that way, because you lost something important. It’s ok to not feel ok and it’s normal to be so moved by something so hard.

Maybe there’s something to say for changing your routine a bit. Finding other friends circles that she is not involved in, trying new hobbies and everything. That way you have something new to think about and other people to talk to - this might help with her being around parties every now and again.

Also make sure you take care of yourself, start building up a new routine.

It could be beneficial to talk to her when your feelings towards her are not as strong anymore, but it will always be awkward and there’s nothing to expect from it. It will just be a conversation and who knows where it goes.

These are all steps that can help you move on, but of course there is no handbook for breakups so this could look very different for everyone.

Although I haven’t been in your situation it sounds really rough and I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sure you’ll find someone else who loves you and will stick around.