Unity: handing me over the essay is going to cost you extra.
Typescript: is this a declaration of war?
Programming Languages as Essays
Submitted 1 year ago by Inductor@feddit.de to programmer_humor@programming.dev
https://feddit.de/pictrs/image/0b716b3e-5eb7-4f8d-bdcc-cd05a11c475a.jpeg
Comments
magic_lobster_party@kbin.social 1 year ago
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
GDScript: This is plagiarism. You can’t just write “extends essay2d.”
MBM@lemmings.world 1 year ago
Brainfuck: it’s technically an essay, but who in their right mind would write it using only the first eight letters of the alphabet?
Nioxic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>++++.–…++++++.
TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Perl: this essay is just one long run on sentence.
akincisor@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic.
I_Miss_Daniel@kbin.social 1 year ago
HTML:
Blink. Blink. Blink. Blnk.
newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Blink engine
JATtho@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
C++: The project is now led by university research comitee optimizing essays/second and consists 1k lines of template hieroglyphs.
MrClayman@lemmy.world 1 year ago
LaTeX gang rise up
MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 1 year ago
Unpopular opinion: Ruby is too widely used, because it’s the least performant language.
Quill7513@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
Ruby’s popularity in the early 10s thanks to Ruby on Rails feels like it happened by accident. The language is hard to read and low performance, but Rails is completely automagic. But this is also the worst thing about rails. You create your app fast, but then maintaining it is expensive because you can’t onboard new developers easily. Even if they’re familiar with rails’ automagicisms, it will take them quite some time to parse what the hell the code is doing.
Meanwhile I seem to recall Ruby’s creator finding the situation of his language being popular because he’d created it as an experiment and never thought it would be used in production grade environments
Slimy_hog@programming.dev 1 year ago
“ruby is hard to read” is a really strange take…
AnomalousBit@programming.dev 1 year ago
language is hard to read
for item in array do puts item[:name] end
Whew, iterating and working with data in Ruby is so hard. How does anyone read this stuff.
low performance Ruby is a syntax-sugar-loaded C-wrapper, just like Python and countless other languages that don’t compile straight to machine code. If anything other than C and Rust are slow to you, than sure, maybe Ruby isn’t a good fit for your project (but Crystal might be).
create your app fast Damn right, I’m two or three times as productive as I ever was in C#/Razor or Java/Spring frameworks.
but then maintaining it is expensive As with any app that grows into something successful and widely used, technical complexity becomes exponential. I’ve found once web applications grow to a certain number of models and controllers, the relationships between them start to grow exponentially as well. This means one small change can ripple throughout your application and have unintended consequences where you least expect.
This is not even remotely a unique problem to Ruby. It’s happened across every project I’ve seen that grows beyond 30 models and a couple of dozen controllers, regardless of language. This is why unit testing is so important.
But, specifically you mentioned you can’t “onboard new developers easily”. I don’t see how. I’ve taken two CS grads straight out of college and had them adding features with tests within a couple of days on Ruby projects. Ruby was designed to be most friendly to humans, not the compiler. If Rails is what is tripping you up, imagine trying to learn a new web framework on top of an even more complicated language than Ruby. I just don’t see this argument at all, from my experiences.
Ruby’s creator finding the situation of his language being popular because he’d created it as an experiment Pretty sure most any language that was created by an individual and not by BigCorp™ is a feat in and of itself. This speaks more widely to a language’s capabilities and value if it can reach popularity without corporate backing. This argument seems to imply that because of it’s origin, it will always be some kind of experimental toy that was never intended for wide-use.
Meanwhile, Linus Torvalds:
I’m doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won’t be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones.
Things have to start somewhere, I guess?
I kindly ask you to be more constructive in your criticism of Ruby. It’s a great, powerful language with a low barrier to entry. There’s no reason to spread FUD about it.
lars@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Yeah I usually run my backend in Asciidoc too. The level of its performance might surprise you.
DieguiTux8623@feddit.it 1 year ago
Old but gold!!!
AnomalousBit@programming.dev 1 year ago
If you’re struggling to read Ruby, you probably aren’t going to read any of the other languages on this list. That’s the real humor here!
slazer2au@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Rockstar: this would make one hell of a banger.
alokir@lemmy.world 1 year ago
JavaScript: i know it was easy to write it like this but you should index your citations next time
Typescript: I meant properly, not on your scratch sheet
darcy@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
haskell: “you submitted your math work instead of an essay”
javascript: “this is awful, but at least i can read it anywhere i like”
lisp: “it is not grammatically correct to nest brackets so much”
lua: “your vocabulary is too limited and you have the writing skills of a child”
rust: “omg. your essay is fast, safe, and perfect in every way! A+”
css: “this is beautiful, but it doesnt say anything”
starman@programming.dev 1 year ago
C#: did you just copy Java’s essay and put your name on it?
newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
C# is Java in good
darcy@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
ahah nice
Alexocado@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Found the Rust programmer
30p87@feddit.de 1 year ago
Ha, such a loser. Real programmers use C.ԥ[��\�q��r��8-߿�ʱT�xd]�UG���S;���v�o������ՠ��N�iYts~fv���@ֿ��Qj�\�Q��_"�$�:� �����0��y��G�6�K!~{Ȯ������Z�n�˭s�\��ڣ�:J��1���e�k=�${�Z�3�k~67D�����K���(�P.��v�0��a�����d���6e?=�v�)���a��bF���R��4>�˕�G�=��v-�dP��O�3��+A�nw�|ъ�f۽b�oF�I`'�#��:��̴g>�j:^���O�mu^U�l�A�oI�’�.��j>Dm\����y��2T��8w�D"1������ת«Q����l�"�C�{��������% �_�A�߸�=t��� �X��m�9R�x��)�a�-���tbL�����Ǣs��d$oMZ��4I1jXD���;
darcy@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
what! how did you know??!?
dodslaser@feddit.nu 1 year ago
rust: “You just translated someone else’s essay”
MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 1 year ago
There are only 3 engines capable of interpreting most of it.
darcy@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
it can run on almost any browser, it can be bundled to run on desktop or mobile. i know wasm exists but javascript is still sadly an extremely versatile language, mostly due to its support on the web