im not telling you woof

Comments

• affenlehrer@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If there’s on thing I learned from watching a lot of true crime, it’s this: ALWAYS ASK FOR A LAWYER

  No chit chat before, first thing you do is ask for a lawyer and then keep your mouth closed.

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  • jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Where did you study Dog Law?

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• MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  My smoking partner once told me he got some illegal treats from a eugenicist named Paul back when he was just a young boy. I asked him what they were but he just kept giving me these ridiculous cryptic answers like “fibreglass cotton balls” and “sporadic fish crystals”. One day I had enough so I took his smokes away and smoked them all by myself. A message appeared in the smoke that finally explained the secrets of Paul the eugenicist, his secrets were too dark that even I can’t repeat them. So if you ask me what they are I’m sorry but fibreglass cotton balls give me cuts all over my rectum when I shove them in my ass.

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  • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Holds up spork

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• YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  No human treat is illegal!

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  • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You just know my dog

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    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      The bull terrier at the end of the cul-de-sac? How’s the feud with the neighbors going?

      Image

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• Tehbaz@lemmy.wtf ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  When my dog was a puppy I was the cop every day pulling out rocks and pieces of sticks out of her mouth. At one point she had an impressive rock collection.

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• JasonDJ@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If it’s hard candy she’s looking for, she should start her investigation at the White House.

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