Submitted 2 hours ago by Jankatarch@lemmy.world to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
“Fear of missing out” is used to explain why people use social media items they don’t need nor want. But marriage is an example too.
I know there is wholesome cases where people want to start a family with other people they like to spend time with.
But a lot of the times it was also “Hey I am of the age my siblings and friends got married. I should meet people with the sole goal of marrying them and raising children.”
My partner and I are committed, and want to get married. Can’t for financial reasons.
We both have to go to the hospital every once in a while (bad health). I fear for the time I am barred from seeing her because it is “family only” and I am legally a stranger.
Im a married guy who met a woman who was amazing in the sack and we have a lot in common but not to much so its not like living with yourself. We are dependable and work well together (most of the time). We have no intention of having children but we like having each other. Neither one of us was looking for someone necessarily when we met much less looking to get married because the time was right. We are lucky that we might of had kids if our economic situation had been better after we tied the knot and then we would be horrified at the world our kids would be coming into within a few years. Granted if it was not for the us wierd healthcare stuff we might have just lived together rather than getting the paper. It would not make a difference.
It’s really more of a contract, “I promise to carry and raise your children, you promise to provide the money” That’s why throughout much of history, you couldn’t get divorced, it wasn’t about love, it was about security.
Nowadays marriage isn’t really as important as before, but still relevant. For women, having a child usually still means making sacrifices in the career.
I don’t know a single person who would marry for that sort of reason. But the people I know weren’t under any pressure to get married. Some of them are single, some are in long term committed relationships with kids, and some are married.
Maybe if you live in a subculture that expects people to get married by a certain age this is an OK take. But it’s so far from what I see that it seems like a really niche perspective on a complex cultural institution.
it’s actually social pressure. You either care or go with the flow, but idk it doesn’t make much difference in the end
It was always just supposed to be a public declaration of partnership and commitment (made with the intention of fulfilling our biological imperative, ofc… remember that reliable, safe and not disgusting methods of birth control weren’t widely available until the late 19th century), not too dissimilar to posting your relationship status on Facebook, just with more weight behind it, lol. And, unless you live in some weird, selectively legally misandrist country that “punishes” men unfairly in divorce (the manosphere talks a lot about it, I assume there’s at least a modicum of truth to it), it still kinda is just that, right? And, evidently, suddenly waking up sometime in your late 20s to 30s and realizing the optics around your singlehood aren’t too positive is one of the worst reasons to hurry into marriage! 😅
ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 2 hours ago
I wouldnt say I married my wife because of FOMO on being married. I married my wife because I had FOMO of not spending the rest of my life with my wife in particular
Anyone who is getting married for the sake of being married itself is getting married for the wrong reasons