I had a similar experience. I was working in D.C. and had focused on Ukraine, of all things, well before it became an international talking point. As Russia got increasingly involved in U.S. politics via Trump, I found I couldn’t really share what I was seeing/experiencing first-hand, because back home, my family was actively falling for the same bullshit I was trying to scream about in D.C. It’s all been so surreal.
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Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
I know where your coming from. My parents feel right down the racist conspiracy theory rabbit hole during Brexit and COVID. I was working in the hospital watching people and colleagues die regularly and my dad was telling me it’s just flu and all a hoax to scare people, they convinced my 90 year old grandma to not get the vaccine. We had a lot of fights. Eventually after a lot of reflecting I decided that having a relationship with my family was more important than winning an argument so now we just have a selection of topics I refuse to engage with, just say let’s move on and change the topic. I found it really hard to see the people who raised me fall into racist rhetoric and conspiracy theory thinking, these people taught me to be a good person and now have some glaring holes in their compassion for others. I struggled with that for a long time.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 month ago
rekorse@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If it was drug use wed call this enabling. Family shouldn’t get a pass to be dick bags.
jpreston2005@lemmy.world 1 month ago
but just like being addicted to a drug, we can’t force them to stop. They have to want to change themselves. And if they don’t stop, what, we’re supposed to cut off our whole family? That won’t stop them from continuing to be hateful, but it will stop us from having a meaningful relationship with our loved ones. All we can do is make our values clear when they attempt to bring up any of their hateful BS, and then move onto something else.
Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Yup this is where I got to with them. Either I compromise my values to continue having a relationship or we eventually stop talking entirely as I continue to argue with their bullshit. The arguing doesn’t work, even appeals to emotion didn’t make a difference. I struggled for a long time with how these people who I held in such high regard could fall so far. They are just people at the end of the day and fell for the hateful propaganda on social media.
NellyAdagio@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
It is also caring for oneself/ their own wellbeing and sanity.
Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
I don’t feel I’ve given them a pass. I feel like I’ve set boundaries where I can tolerate/ enjoy their presence without being subjected to their hateful or stupid beliefs. It was a difficult decision for me and I seriously considered not having a relationship with them at all for a long time. But I’d miss out on time with my baby nephew, my elderly gran and my siblings who all live near my parents (the main culprits) and I decided that the relationships were more important to me than winning an argument.
To continue your addict analogy, you might agree to hang out with your addict friend on the condition they come sober and don’t take drugs whilst you’re together. Rather than just saying you take drugs so we aren’t friends now.
The world is rarely black and white.