I read a headline a few weeks ago that he fell asleep in court, and farted. Literally all he did was take a mid day nap, and fart in his sleep. Just like any person of that age does on a daily basis. The only reason it’s news, is because people click the stories, and read the articles, and drive ad revenue for the media companies.

An old man sleeping and farting in court is now news…but anything is news if you MAKE it news.

All news is, is a business to sell ad dollars. Just like any entertainment show on traditional TV. The difference is, if you watch Seinfeld, the media doesn’t stalk Jerry in real life, and try to sell “news” stories that Jerry ate at a certain resteraunt, and ordered a certain sandwich. The tabloids and papparazi may do that, but you won’t find out that Jerry Seinfeld ate a ruben sandwich at Joe’s Deli on the 11pm news. Because it’s not news…but if you try to MAKE it news, you could try to sell some controversy that Joes Deli supports neonazis, and Jerry is supposed to be Jewish. Nevermind the fact that the media behind the scenes is basically creating a false narrative by tying Joes Deli to a wholesale meats distributor that also distributes meat to the Neo Nazis. But if they spin the other way, they can make news out of anything.

And just for the record, that was a hypothetical example. Completely fictional for the sake of explaining the concept.

Most of what Trump says/does is NOT news…but if you MAKE it news, now the news can make money off of it, and will continue to shovel this crap down your throat. The media did the same thing in the 90s with Clinton. Yes, he got a blowjob. No it wasn’t his wife. That should have been like a quick news story on a slow day. Instead that went on for like 4 years. Clinton should have just said “Yeah, I got laid! You wanna get laid too? Get on up here, Janet Reno! You like doggy style? Because I don’t want to see your face…”

I assume EVERY president, basically since Washington, has gotten laid in the oval/oral office. But it’s not news. Hell, Obama was a good looking man. I assume he basically used the white house as the new playboy mansion. What woman would have turned that down? And if they DID turn him down, that’s fine. There’s a line, honey. NEXT! Unlike Trump, who I ALSO assume got laid in the white house many times…usually with the exchange of money.

When did The Onion go from being an absurdist insider joke about ACTUAL fake news, to making news gags that would be considered on the sensible side of lifes absurditys?