Ah, the Relay Server is only half of the service! If I understand correctly from the documentation I skimmed, and my existing knowledge of streaming systems, the relay server is just there to handle relaying the video stream from one device to another one in the worst-case-scenario that they can’t reach each other to form a direct client-to-client connection.
So probably your relay server has never been used.
But that’s just for media, and just for bad network configurations. The actual part that coordinates who can see which devices, etc, and sets up the media connections, is the other server, which it sounds like you’re not running. So your services are currently still using the public server to find each other and initiate contact!
set it up with wrong address/credentials to see it failing, if it succeeds, it’s not using your relay server
I’ve seen the login screen above, but I don’t self host it myself, so I just logged in