Comment on Dating app Bumble will no longer require women to make the first move | CNN Business

• Trashboat@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Hah I didn’t even need a dating app for that

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  • Siegfried@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yeah, fckng amateurs

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  • EncryptKeeper@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    At least you are the master of your own destiny

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• Hootz@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Why can’t we go back to meeting people on BBS and forums. Shit I met my partner in 2009 on a forum. It was organic and real, no apps, no algorithms just good ol’ fashion php with a dash of flame war.

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  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Or just… talk to people IRL? I met my wife at my apartment complex, and plenty more meet their SOs at a local social event or whatever. Go to meetups for stuff you’re interested in and talk to people. I trust that way more than dating apps that pair you with strangers given a short bio…

    Yeah, talking to people sucks, I get it. I’m quite introverted and need to relax after putting myself out there. When I met my wife, we texted for 2-3 days before I had enough social energy to ask her out on a date, even though I was quite interested in her. She’s a little introverted as well, so we’re a good match.

    Text is way easier for me, but in-person is way more effective. Most of my friends met their SOs in person at some kind of meetup, whether a DND night, tech meetup, or a dance (not a club, that’s way too loud). Online worked for my brother, but I just don’t see nearly as much success as with in-person meetups, at least among my friends.

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    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      People especially women hate meeting people in public. It’s either “inappropriate,” or there’s music louder than a war playing. There is no in between.

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      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I’m talking about pretty “safe” settings, like:

        • game night with mutual friends - your and their friends will help keep things on the level
        • co-ed sports (again, with mutual friends)
        • community events, such as at a local library or whatever
        • meetups for interests - often hosted at some local business that does something related to the thing (I’m a dev, so I go to local Rust, Go, Python, and JS meetups on occasion)

        In other words, places where people are “forced” to interact doing something that interests them, while around other people that could come to your aid if someone is being creepy. The goal shouldn’t be to find a SO (that attracts the wrong type), but to interact with people that share an interest. You should be looking to make friends, and if that blossoms into something more, I guess that’s cool too. Don’t go into it looking for an SO, go into it looking to engage about something you enjoy.

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    • alyth@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      [deleted]

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      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Eh, that could be true. I’m just relating my experience and trying to be helpful.

        I’m quite introverted, so spending time in social situations can be very draining. This doesn’t apply as much to digital communication, but I do find myself delaying responding if it could turn into a social situation (e.g. someone asks if I’m busy, I’ll often just not respond until it’s too late, “oh no, sorry I missed this, maybe next time…”). I’m not socially awkward or anything, I just prefer to avoid socializing with people (COVID was actually fantastic for me since I didn’t need excuses).

        I’m imagining that a lot of single people who don’t want to be single fall into that category as well. So that’s where I’m coming from.

        When we first met, I was super into her, and it was obvious that she was into me because she asked for my number, she texted first, etc (I walked up to her though). I really liked her, but I wasn’t up to actually spending time with her, so I made excuses until I was ready to give her my full attention. But that couldn’t have happened if I had stayed home. In fact, she moved out of town a month or two later, so we dated long distance for a year until we were able to be together.

        So my advice is to put yourself into social situations that are relatively comfortable for you. Don’t make the primary goal to find romance, make the goal to find someone that enjoys what you do (even if they’re not a possible romantic partner).

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  • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Met my first girlfriend on a forum that’s name in english would be masturbation.org, she contacted me. The second one I met on my country’s equivalance of Omegle. The current one I found on Instagram.

    Turns out that if you put even a little effort into your first message and for the very least make sure the grammar is on point and save the dickpic for later, she may actually reply back. The bar isn’t very high if you want to stand out. Seeing the kind of messages she gets almost daily really shows how pathetically low effort they are. It’s clear as day that you’re just one of the 50 girls he messaged today.

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