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Comment on What happens to my Corpse if I die in a Forest?

CandleTiger@programming.dev ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

I’m imagining what happens is they organize a giant search party to look for you (thus is not the good kind of fishy party) Eventually they find your corpse and put it in a refrigerator for a long time while your relatives argue with the police about whether you were kidnapped and muttered. Somebody pays for all this, maybe the tax payers, maybe your relatives, I don’t know. Then after all that you finally get to have your expensive funeral but on top of being sad, everybody is frustrated.

I’m thinking, better all around if you just don’t die quite yet because that shit is just awkward.

Gluck auf!

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catarina@kbin.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I love the sentiment: "just don't die because it's awkward AF". If "joie de vivre" doesn't make you cling to life, there's always social anxiety even after death 🤣

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teft@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
So what you’re saying is that you need to make the crime scene interesting so people aren’t frustrated. Got it.

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- Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  A tripwire that sets off a bunch of confetti when they find your corpse.
  
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  - teft@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I prefer the balloon drop. If you use one of those mylar balloons it could last for 30 years and still be full of helium. Just think how it would really perk up some future investigator’s afternoon.
    
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    Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    
    How was your day, dear?
    
    It was… Lovely, actually.
    
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Risk@feddit.uk ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
What if I yeet myself into a volcano and leave a note explaining?

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- Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  No, Mr Frodo! I won’t let you!
  
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Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
What happens if I commit suicide by fire? And maybe with a fan to blow away the ashes?

Basically what if there is no body?

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- yokonzo@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  So an incineration to ashes requires something like several sustained hours at 4000⁰, you would basically have to build a pyre
  
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  - LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Otherwise with that fan, you’ll have the entire downwind neighbourhood disappointed there’s not actually a bbq party.
    
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  - Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    🎵I didn’t light the pyre🎵
    
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- LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Isn’t self immolation fairly agonising? I always assumed fire is the worst way to go.
  
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  - Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I have no idea tbh, but I did get a 1 inch circular brand about a decade ago, and after the first two seconds or so, I couldn’t feel the heat anymore. Of course by that point my skin was literally boiling. Even before that, I don’t remember the pain being very bad.
    
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