Comment on Politically-engaged Redditors tend to be more toxic -- even in non-political subreddits

• ericisshort@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  If “trying to find common ground and building from there” is normal human behavior, then normal behavior is in the minority these days. I haven’t had an in-person conversation with someone that disagrees with me that is even remotely attempting to find common ground in a very long time. It’s definitely not typical in my experience.

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  • ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The funny thing is that I read this comment, and then looked at your post history completely expecting to find an obvious troll*, but no. You are consistently and commendably courteous in your disagreements, even as you collect an Olympian number of downvotes on what seem to be very innocuous statements.

    *Every time someone says something along the lines of others not wanting to find commonality with them, I look at their post history. I am only rarely disappointed, lol

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    • ericisshort@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I do appreciate you saying that.

      I try to be kind unless someone’s being an absolute turd, but I’m also trying to be less afraid to leave downvoted comments that I genuinely believe in. I kinda had a problem with deleting any heavily downvoted comments in my Reddit history, so Lemmy’s obfuscation of karma has been quite helpful in that regard, and it’s nice to see that some of those comments helped subvert your assumptions.

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      • ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I’m glad you took it that way, because it was indeed meant as a compliment. In real life I’ve actually gotten into some tight spots using “thank you” as code for “fuck off and die” (it is occasionally taken as implied consent instead of a FOAD imperative) so I recognize it is an art to be simultaneously both unfailingly polite and straightforwardly factual and still communicate effectively. Glad you’re not deleting your comments: to be agreed with or disagreed with is not a valid measure of personal worth.

        Yeah, I’m not missing Reddit karma either. I tried not to pay a lot of attention to it, but Reddit makes sure you see your grand total wherever you go on the site. Here on lemmy.world, I think I have to sign in on the old.lemmy.world format just to even view my lemmy total, so I literally have not seen my karma or vote count or whatever in months. Refreshing.

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  • EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I haven’t had an in-person conversation with someone that disagrees with me that is even remotely attempting to find common ground in a very long time.

    It’s because it’s not only untrue, but almost the exact opposite of the truth. Humans tend to defend themselves when they find their beliefs threatened, not open themselves up.

    This is the heart of a lot of lots of couples therapy: learning how to express your discontent without making it about your partner. If interested, read up on “I” statements. And we’re talking about people in committed relationships shutting themselves down to each other. Imagine how easy it is to do when you label the person as “the other team.”

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• aidan@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Argumentative accounts that personally attack and downvote, even though there is absolutely zero reason - there wasn’t even any disagreement on the main points, just anger on minor details.

  That’s been here for a while. When I became a mod of c/politics some users stalked my profile to use it as proof my me being a terrible choice. They’re evidence was me not having a degree in political science, disagreeing with them on some issues, and having a complicated relationship with my mom. I said simply check the modlogs, and there haven’t been any complaints since.

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• EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Normal human behaviour is to try and find common ground and build from there.

  This is wildly untrue. Even outside the confines of the Internet. People tend to circle the wagons when their beliefs are threatened, rather than try and find common ground. Which is why the way we debate ( and I’m debating now) is so ineffectual. You need to guide the person to come to the conclusion themselves (which is why the Socratic method is so widely respected), not tell them they are wrong and you are right and here’s why. It’s a low success method.

  On the Internet, it’s even less true. Now I’m just a dehumanized bunch of words, not even an individual, so your mind is rushing to try and figure out to categorize me so you can make assumptions about me. This just compounds the above issues.

  Your argument seems to rest on the claim that this is atypical human behavior. This is a false assumption, and thus conclusions based on it are faulty.

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