This is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. I’m looking for genuine help and I get accused of being dishonest or hateful.
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echo64@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It legitimately sounds like you are trying to find a place where it’s okay for you to say that “this is not okay”. Which you won’t outside of the actual transphobe communities.
If people are calling you transphobic, maybe consider yourself and your actions rather than say no, it’s everyone else that is wrong. People are directly telling you what you are.
Oyster_Lust@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Tywele@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
What do you need help with?
Oyster_Lust@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I need to find a community of family members and/or psychologists who have found success (or failure) in dealing with this issue. I’m not trying to say that it’s good or bad. My child is struggling and I can’t seem to find objective help. It all seems political and unhelpful.
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
The only thing your child needs if they have gender dysphoria is love and support. Period. If they are asking for a name change or pronoun change, listen to them. If they are asking for hormone blockers or hormones and that scares you, get therapy. Actually get therapy with a therapist knowledgeable about LGBT issues anyway, because you need someone to keep you from inadvertently traumatizing your child.
This isn’t a dig at you, this is true of any parent of a trans kid. I am that kid ~25 years down the road and I am legitimately lucky to be alive after dealing with gender dysphoria by myself and surviving a suicide attempt as a teen.
I encourage you to read this Scientific American article that goes into detail on all the evidence about what support (or lack of it) does for trans youth.
echo64@lemmy.world 10 months ago
You’re looking for help that fits your ideologies. Otherwise, you would be seeking the kind of help everyone else looks for.
Oyster_Lust@lemmy.world 10 months ago
No! I’m trying to avoid ideology and find practicality. I’m looking for a community of family members that have dealt with this, so I can have an honest discussion. Nonody here knows anything about my child except the gender dysphoria that I mentioned, yet so many are telling me what I need to do and what my motives are.
I’m looking for the exact opposite of what I’m finding here. There is no " one size fits all" approach because everyone is different. I’d like to be able to talk to family members and find ones whose child has had other similar issues and find out what has and hasn’t helped.
WeeSheep@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It sounds like OP wants to give opinions on what other people do to/with their bodies in a judgemental way. Many other comments seem to be about how it’s so rude to be offended by those being told by OP that they are wrong.
I’m not trans and I don’t understand body dysmorphia. Not everything is for everyone to understand. I also don’t understand getting a bunch of tattoos/piercings, drinking coffee or alcohol socially when they don’t like it, getting perms (they take so much effort to maintain), lots of things people do to alter how they view themselves or are viewed by others. I can, however, support those who do experience these things or want to change themselves to better fit who they want to be or who they view themselves as.
Oyster_Lust@lemmy.world 10 months ago
No. I’m looking for honest help with my child, but thanks for exhibiting exactly what I was trying to avoid.
I don’t want to talk to just people who hate trans people, and I don’t want to talk to people who say trans people are the most beautiful thing in the world.
I want to have an honest discussion about what has worked clinically and in people’s actual circumstances, without people trying to say what they think my alterior motives are.
soupcat@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
I know your initial question is just about finding a suitable community to talk to but I think people are giving you a hard time because there’s no elaboration, perhaps if you’d just started out with the questions you had this would have went smoother.
echo64@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Then listen to Trans people. If someone loses an arm you don’t go asking for a fair and balanced view on lost arms that considers both sides. Stop looking for the answers you think are not “political” and just listen to people.
Oyster_Lust@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’m looking for a community of family members, more in the vane of Alanon. As you can see from the comments people are either accusing me of being dishonest, or telling me just to affirm.
I am apposed to affirming, but I’m not opposed to being proven wrong. What u would like to do is have a discussion with families who have dealt with this and discuss what was successful and what wasn’t.
The people telling me to “love”, “accept”, or “affirm” know nothing of my child and their issues outside of the gender dysphoria. They are just projecting their macro ideas of gender onto my micro situation.
Anyone who has a “one size fits all” approach is not worth listening to, in my opinion. I’d like to talk to family members of children with gender dysphoria and find the commonalities between their child and mine, and find out what has worked and what hasn’t.
Deceptichum@kbin.social 10 months ago
You logged into the wrong account there buddy?
Cos you’re replying as if you’re OP, but you’re not OPs account.
Wouldn’t happen to be trying to fake up content to support your shitty concern trolling are you?
Tywele@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria are two different things.
Deestan@lemmy.world 10 months ago
No, if they were looking for that kind of environment, it wouldn’t be hard to find.
Sometimes people need a gentler learning curve towards acceptance than a wall of anger at asking questions that they don’t yet know are hurtful or phobic or a weaponized phrase among internet fascists.