This is the thing as a former white man.
Authority to touch others flows down the privilege hierarchy.
Trans women are always judged as the aggressor, always. Our bodies are considered public property.
Comment on Uber is letting women avoid male drivers and riders in the US
vantablack@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
unless you’ve actually literally lived as a woman you cannot know the monumental amount of sexual harassment we face and fear on a day-to-day basis. doubly so for trans women. every single moment i am alone in public i am deathly anxious that i could be harassed (sexually or otherwise) or hate-crimed or whatever. and the worst part is, there’s nothing i could do about it. the perpetrator would get away scot-free. the cops do not fucking care
however bad you think it is, it’s worse. whatever you’re imagining, it is exponentially more horrendous
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Allero@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
As a man, I genuinely wonder how much actual harassment women face vs how much they hear about it.
I get to feel that a lot of these fears are real, but many are manufactured. But I can be wrong.
Beebabe@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Anecdotally, last week I (middle aged lady) was approached by two strange men. One tried to grab me outside my work site, and one told me how lovely I was and asked for my number (in target). It’s much, much worse for young women. It’s not manufactured, unlike the doubt of women’s lived experience seems to be.
JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
I have yet to meet a woman I’m close enough friends with who doesn’t have a personal sexual assault story. Not a harrassment story, an SA story. Could just be bad luck but i don’t think it is. It also lines right up with the statistic that 3/4 women get sexually assaulted before 30 (that stat is from memory, but I’ll try and track it down in a bit.)
I believe It is much worse than you think.
sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
The 1 in 6 stat from RAINN are for attempted rape and rape, not sexual harassment or assault. Those numbers are even higher. That’s why there’s a difference between what you remember.
mcv@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I’m pretty sure it’s much, much worse than you think. In fact, I’m fairly sure it’s much worse than I think. Men don’t experience it, women are reluctant to talk about it because some men react aggressively to claims that men react aggressively.
vantablack@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
i didn’t speak in detail about the very many numerous times i’ve been sexually harassed in public only because it’s too depressing to think about lmao
sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
1 in 6 women in the US have experienced either an attempt or complete rape attempt.
rainn.org/…/facts-statistics-the-scope-of-the-pro…
That’s not even touching on sexual harassment or assault.
balsoft@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
I get your point, but if you actually go out and speak with women who trust you, chances are they will all have multiple stories of harassment and/or SA that will make your hair stand up. It’s not just fearmongering, there are a lot of awful men out there (in absolute terms)
minorkeys@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
If men can never know. How can men ever trust women’s calls to action on the issues are fair, just or worthwhile?
BrilliantantTurd4361@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Your retort is that because you lack empathy women are somehow suspect?
minorkeys@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It is because I have empathy for both women and men. It also means those who don’t understand ,or get offended, may lack the empathy for both needed to understand the point made. Do you empathize with men’s experience of women?
GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
The same way we trust that it’s really painful for men to get kicked in the junk without having to experience it ourselves.
minorkeys@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
And how do we accomplish that?
GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
If I knew how to make everyone empathetic we wouldn’t even need to be discussing this in the first place. What a vapid question.
ChadGPT2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You answered your own question. The task for men is to trust women when they describe their experiences, even if it’s completely invisible and alien to their own experiences. Reading detailed firsthand accounts is a good way to build understanding.
minorkeys@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That is not a task for men. That is a demand from women. If men can only decide to believe based on the trust they have with the speaker then the speaker must earn their trust. It is not men’s responsibility to become trusting of women, just because women want it. If women want men to trust their words then it’s women’s responsibility to gain men’s trust. It would be profoundly unwise of men to believe without either trust or safety. How often do you ever concern yourself with the safety of men?
ChadGPT2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think we all need to do the work to understand the problems faced by different groups. Women need to be doing this too. This isn’t a thread about problems men face, however.
MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This is kind of an insane take.
Women have always been vulnerable. Women get raped and sexually assaulted at rates far beyond men. Women are easy targets because they are, on average, physically weaker than males. 50% of women will suffer a sexual assault of some kind in their life. Just 3% of men report a sexual assault.
TheSeveralJourneysOfReemus@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The introduced it first in saudi arabia in 2019, after women were given the right to drive, turns out they found it good so they used this setting in the US (2025) and elsewhere (2025 - 2026). The feature is a priority queue for women
When requesting a trip, women will receive a new option called ‘Women Drivers.’ If the wait time is longer than they want, though, they’ll still have the option to receive other rides with faster pickup times.
In other words, if you’re a guy and the area is poorly covered, you get your uber driver all the same.
dude@lemmings.world 2 weeks ago
It depends where you live really. It’s a problem in the US indeed but for instance in many countries in Europe they don’t sexually harass their females on a “day-to-day basis”
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
I faced some as a man, so…yeah. Most of my trouble is from other men, and my attitude towards dating (not wanting to) is from trust issues that were actually caused by other men treating me awfully, so I don’t want to let ANY human treat me the same way.
innermachine@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I have twice been in public with my fiance and some random twat in a pickup truck yells cat calls while driving by slowly in a parking lot. Wish the fuckers would stop so I can pull them through the window. God knows what she’s delt with when I’m NOT standing next to her holding her hand. Sick as a society we are, that’s why we have trump as pedophile in cheif. Smh.
TheBenCommandments@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
Since you said they’re a she, it’s fiancée. Congrats on the nups!