Nemo@slrpnk.net 1 day ago
The US has more than one culture, at least in terms of communication style. California is fairly low-context, and big cities in general tend to favor lower contexts, but more rural areas and smaller cities in the Midwest and South tend to have higher-context communication. I can’t compare it to Paris or Tokyo, of course.
It’s certainly been a problem for me, as a Midwesternern, when coastal colleagues and acquaintances don’t know what the hell I’m saying because they don’t bother to think about why I’m saying it, and where I think they’re shockingly rude by saying things bluntly like I’m an idiot child who can’t form any sort of theory of mind.
I’ll agree with this. There are Midwestern “politeness” rules that defy communication.
For example, if you’re visiting a Midwesterner, they will offer you something, but it’s rude to take them up on it unless they insist 3 times. The exception to the rule being “I’m grabbing a ___, you want one?”
This doesn’t really defy the video though, as the Midwest is more homogenous than the coastal US.
Never heard of the concept of the have to offer three times. I’ve lived in Minnesota my entire life. I’ve never heard of this.
They’re right about the “I’m grabbing a ___, do you want one?” though.
Contrast with “I suppose I could grab a ___ for you next time I go to town” to which the correct response is “Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to put you to the trouble, I’m going into town soon myself anyway” because they’re not actually offering to do it, just trying to feel out how important it is to you.
That contrast part where somebody says they’re going to town and they could grab one for you, and then supposedly you’re supposed to say no that’s OK.
I’ve literally never heard that. I’m over 50 years old. I’ve never heard of that statement. If somebody offered to do something nice for you and you can use the item. Why are you saying no? Say thank you. Tell them make sure you grab the receipts that way I can get you the money or give them the money in advance.
I’ve never heard of this concept of oh no that’s OK. Don’t put yourself out. Why are you doing that? What now you have to drive into town and spend your money when they were already in town? This makes no sense. Make sure you pay them and probably toss them a little extra cash for having made the trip and the effort.
Why would you say no? Again I’ve never heard of this concept.
What state do you live in?
The “three times” was an arbitrary number I made up. I don’t think there’s actually a defined number, but you ALWAYS decline the first offer.
I’ve never even heard of declining the first one.
I was raised if you offer something to someone and they say no. Then the answer is no. Don’t bug them.
Almost any country has many different cultures to it
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 21 hours ago
The NYC area is very low context and high volume. A lot of the rest of the Northeast is the same way.