Comment on dating

Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

• Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Ok but like. Dating and flirting talk is different from normal talk. More giggly, more vibes. Some people can’t do that for shit

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  • Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    There’s a lot of women who can’t do that either. It’s not a movie and a lot of us have the same executive functioning disorders that make this confusing. I think people need to find someone who connects with them so pretending to be someone else is a bad strategy

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    • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I think people need to find someone who connects with them

      I get very connected to the randos on grindr.

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  • peopleproblems@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    That’s almost impossible to do over text.

    Almost.

    So I talk to them how I talk to my friends with a lot more enthusiastism.

    That ends up be just turning into an essay writer and I have overwhelmed at 6 in the past year.

    So maybe not normal talk either.

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    • Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I’m so bad at flirting over text. I can do it irl somewhat once the first bit of convo gets jumpstarted but mannn dating apps kill me. I get far more people down to hang in person then ever from a dating app.

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• boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Talking to women and talking to women you want to date are slightly different things tbh. The latter doesn’t necessarily come naturally for all.

  And online, it gets even harder oftentimes. Creating a captivating conversation out of an empty bio, two generic photos and a name? That’s still damn difficult for me and I’ve been on tinder for like 4 years out of the last 8. Obviously it’s easier if the conversational partner throws you a bone. OOP didn’t exactly have a great opener to begin with and then was given a “tyyy”. Try riffing on that. Good luck. I can see why OOP gave up on the conversation.

  Online “dating” sucks. I’m sure women have their own reasons why it sucks (safety in particular), but for men it sucks because generally speaking, you’re expected to prove yourself as an interesting conversational partner within 2-3 messages. Even on Bumble it’s the same, as seen in the screenshot. Women have to write first there, but usually it’s just “hi” or an emoji.

  So I also don’t know how to talk to women. I have female friends. I’m not an incel, I’ve had a couple of long-term relationships and some, eh, situationships I guess? Even some with people I met on dating apps. Meet me in person? We’re staying awake talking until 5 AM. Actually give me something to riff about in your bio or at least reply to me with more than one word? We’re at the very least going to have a fun conversation, maybe meet in real life. But give me an empty bio and one word replies? I’m sorry, but I just don’t know how to talk to you.

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  • nickiwest@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    An empty bio and one-word replies sounds like someone who’s not worth talking to. I don’t think that’s your failure.

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    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      That’s half the girls on Tinder sadly. I tend to swipe most of the empty bios left and lately just abandon the conversation if the other half doesn’t seem interested or interesting enough to at least reply with something creative too.

      But that’s just the reality of online “dating”. It’s a numbers game and heavily in favour of women. As someone once said, men are looking for drinking water in the desert, while women are looking for it in the ocean. Sucks for everyone, just in different ways.

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• nialv7@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I don’t know how to talk to another person either.

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  • Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    That’s fair

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  • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Dont worry, here on the internet everyone is a dog using the humans internet whole they are gone to work.

    Yall are dogs to, right?

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    • sem@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      ARF.

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• WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I did, end result was someone actually contacts me for a date, but I just…don’t feel anything, so I just end up talking to hear her life story, and nothing actually happens.

  I will be single for life 🥲

  But that’s ok! I don’t want to drag anyone into a relationship with a miserable person who does not want to live anyway (hence, relationships are last place).

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  • Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’m feeling like a lot of people relate to this these days unfortunately

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