Which country?
Precisely this. My partner and I uprooted our lives to move to a new country. I left a loving community, a strong career, and so much more. I absolutely miss my home but didn’t feel safe continuing to live in the states. Don’t get me wrong, I also LOVE my new home, it’s been nothing but welcoming.
We cry very often because there is so much just trauma and grief that we haven’t been able to process. No one tells you just how hard it’s gonna be.
To give an example, I frequently hallucinate seeing or hearing my friends around my new city. Every time I do I have to hold back tears.
Psythik@lemmy.world 3 days ago
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
I never had friends in China, I never missed anyone “back home” (well… its not like I got to know any of the relative very well, so I didn’t miss them being 8 at the time) but I constantly think about the hypothetical alt-universe where I never left China… like for better or worse… its hard to stop thinking about it.
I feel like I belong in neither places.
Like existential crisis stuff.
On the surface, in 2010, the US was also seemingly welcoming, but you have subtle casual racism stuff, especially when you move to less-immigrant cities like Philly. Kids here wete just horrible. The Elementary school I went to had not much Asians so racism was common, worse in middle school.
Like you had no idea how much shit I had to go through, and identity crisis. Who the fuck am I. I don’t know if I can do this again, especially the learning a language thing, now I don’t have the advantage of youth again. And I’m the adult now having to plan everything, instead of everything already being done for me.
Like… it’d be so sad if I pick a place, miraculously get an immigration visa, then that place goes to shit AGAIN, then I’d have to do this v3.0 lmao
Depression is killing me lol
I think for me, its not just “move to EU” that easily. Like… the population of Asians in EU is much lower afaik, I would feel even less “belonging” there tbh.