Comment on Is there a formalized ban appeal process for the fediverse? Do I just direct message a mod?
curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 2 days agoWas OP being shitty with their comment?
Yes.
Whether it was intentional or not. I mentioned elsewhere that there are cis folks who can’t have children. So that comment was shitty to a wider group than just trans folks. Its also pretty common terf stuff.
It also broke the rules for both the instance and the community.
dzsimbo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Thanks for the reply. I see I am going against the grain here, so apologies if this comes through as hard-headed, but I still don’t get the violation.
Was the problem that OP was talking in general about the importance of being able to give birth? It doesn’t seem to diss trans or sterile people, just mentions that it can be important. Or is OP saying it is important, and that’s the problem?
Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I was indeed just stating that it can be important (e.g. it’s important your doctor knows you’re trans), but obviously I was a dumbass for trying to make my point this way.
dzsimbo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Yeah, I think it’s more of a problem of you mansplaining (sorry if you don’t identify :)) something that you are not directly going through.
I don’t think you’re necessarily coming from a bad place, but after reading mech’s comment on blahaj, it looks like you tried to toe a line and grossly miscalculated.
If you really want back with this account, you probably want to let it simmer a bit. Take some time thinking about what you can learn from and contribute to the community, and message a mod or two (maybe they have a dl) when you figure it out. I wouldn’t bother with trying to explain the situation.
curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 2 days ago
The comment was made in that it suggests trans women are not women. As well as cis women who can’t have children not being women, though unintentionally.
The comment was a specific callout to separate trans women from women in general. Intention is irrelevant, a distinction was made, though despite being about trans women, it was a distinction with no bearing or value on the definition of a woman.
Its a very common talking point for terfs, as well. It is not a new or original attack on trans women, but it is what it boils down to - an attack on trans women.
One that doesnt make sense after a bit of thought is applied either.
dzsimbo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
I had to google TERF, but I am familiar with the overall notion (I heard about it from gay circles).
So I think I’m missing context. If OP reacted unkindly to someone facing these issues IRL, banhammer was in place. Just talking about these stuff shouldn’t be tabu, because of tolerance.
That being said, if blahaj is a safe zone for the lgbtq+ folk, OP has only themselves to blame. I accidentally commented on a lemmygrad circlejerk thread with ‘well, akshually…’ and I was torn a new butthole. Even though my argument had merit, it wasn’t the right place for it.
Thanks again for the details. Lemmy is wild.
mapto@feddit.bg 2 days ago
I’d like to point out that in !techtakes@awful.systems they have a rule saying:
which they use to wolfpack onto anyone who even remotely questions their tribal consensus, even if that person is coming from sharing a post that is well aligned with them.
Lemmy is wild indeed.
curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 2 days ago
The blahaj server is dedicated to the gender diverse, and a safe space server.
196 is a safe space community, since before Lemmy (r/196 is over 10yrs old)
It is quite specifically a community that contains people who have dealt with these sort of divisive comments before, and a server that has dealt with those sorts of divisive comments before, and is explicitly not permitted on either the community or the server itself. Detailed out rather thoroughly in the sidebar, including noting comments that challenge someone’s identity.
So yeah, OP only has themselves to blame, though I’ll say the argument that resulted in a ban has zero merit anyway (for reasons previously mentioned).