Comment on This man is suffering

ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This is in no way condoning the practice, only describing why it happens, but a lot of dudes actually derive some kind of pleasure or satisfaction at knowing they’ve made someone else uncomfortable. That motivation generally steers them towards in-person interactions.

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  • ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I always figured that the game was being a creep because it’s the easiest way to get a woman to interact with your or at least acknowledge your existence. Porn has solutions for that too.

    Or maybe they do indeed just want to make women uncomfortable. Harder to do that with porn since porn actors tend to not be great non-porn actors.

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• Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I don’t know what to think about this.

  While I don’t intend to visit hooter, strip clubs or anything alike and I think people can be creeps even if they are acting completely within the consent of others.

  But how is a man who wants to go to hooters a creep but a man who wants to consumes porn not? The exploitation of women in porn is arguably worse because while they consent to the recording (i mean if not… I don’t need to continue my point) oftentimes they sell all their rights and lose all control over the recording. Consequently there is no backing out if they no longer want to be seen like that. (Of course, there are other issues) If you work for hooters, you know wtf is going on before you were hired and if you quit, you are not longer exposed.

  So what is creepy about hooters but not about porn?

  Is it the simple fact that the man seeks out some kind of sexualized interact with the woman?

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  • snooggums@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So what is creepy about hooters but not about porn?

    In general the difference is the in person interaction. While porn does have some direction interaction it is remote and there is far less direct control by the consumer.

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    • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      So it is less creepy to engage with porn than hooters while porn is arguably far more exploitative and dehumanising than hooters because the creep is interacting with the woman?

      I really don’t know if I agree there and again, I think very poorly of hooters and their customers, I am not defending it.

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      • snooggums@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Being exploitative and dehumanizing isn't the same kind of thing as being creepy, although they can be intertwined.

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  • ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The power dynamic between the porn actress and customer is different than between restaurant server and patron. The porn is filmed in a controlled environment, and even the live streams can be quit at any time. At a restaurant, the women are operating in a live environment, and their income is dependent on the patrons’ whims. The rules are fuzzy and you don’t know if your patron is going to understand the difference between friendly flirting and sexual attraction.

    I got dragged to a strip club for a friend’s birthday. They were especially gross at the time in WA because you couldn’t drink at them. We were already drunk enough though.

    Anyway, got a lap dance for $20. The first 30 seconds were the stripper explaining to me what I’m allowed to do. I.e. apparently you can rub your face on her boobs, but hands stay put. I’m sure if I broke that rule, a bouncer would beat the shit out of me. To maintain the “family friendly atmosphere,” restaurants like Hooters operate more on nuance that some patrons (like the person this post is about) may not understand.

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    • axx@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Porn is filmed in a controlled environment

      Controlled by whom? For whose benefit?

      This bit, on which a lot of the argument hinges, seems rather rose-tinted. An alarming number of women report being coerced into doing more than they agreed to, once on set.

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    • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yes there is a difference.

      A customer of porn could share that porn long after that actress quit the industry and has publicly expressed regret.

      A customer of hooters can’t force the server to continue to be sexualized at hooters.

      But let’s focus on your example,

      A customer could break rules at hooters, therefore consume porn and don’t go to hooters?

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      • ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        A customer of hooters can’t force the server to continue to be sexualized

        Ask a victim of sexual assault how they feel about that statement.

        And the point is if your goal of going to hooters is to bend the rules as far as you can, just get your fix some other way.

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  • Aeri@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Any upstanding pervert can come up with a strip club but it takes a special kind of repressed creepiness to come up with Hooters if you ask me.

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    • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I would agree with you on that notion, while i think strip clubs are weird as fuck, but then we talk about personality and not behavior.

      The original comment is a call to action, it is about behavior and not personality.

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• RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  If someone works at Hooters they know what they signed up for. And if that’s objectionable, then I’m just keeping them employed, so clearly that’s good!

  We don’t have Hooters though

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• dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  But the porn is fake and the waitresses there all really definitely actually like me if you catch my drift.

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