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Comment on Has this ever happened to you?

Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

He shouldn’t, and the fact that that idea doesn’t even cross most men’s minds is an enormous privilege.

I don’t know about you, but I generally take a little time getting to know someone before I decide to trust them. Why on earth would you not?

What you don’t seem to consider is the risk involved. When the consequence of misplaced trust is potentially rape or death, a small amount of caution is plainly warranted.

Nobody is out here assuming all men are rapists, that question is as irrelevant as it is idiotic. The point is that any man could be a rapist, and those odds sure as hell aren’t small enough to just roll the dice on some rando you’ve never met.

It’s easier for us (I’m assuming you’re male too). I don’t really have to care. The worst consequence we can reasonably expect is what? A too attached girl who won’t leave you alone? When was the last time you went on a date with someone who could physically restrain you? It’s not the fucking same, no matter how much you want to pretend it is.

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SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
There is no risk involved with going to a public place for a date.

At least no reasonable risk.

If you develop a phobia of men that is so bad that it prevents you from interfering with men then that is YOU problem and you need to work that out.

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- Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Sorry, but you’re coming from a place of ignorance here, but I do get it. I used to feel that way, but I’ve known too many women in my life who’ve experienced assaults in public places to pretend it’s not a real issue. I’ve been roofied in public myself (wrong target, presumably) and have the privilege of only really having to worry about some scrapes and bruises. But the holes in my memory and understanding that that night could have easily gone far, far worse if I had been someone’s target is something that will always stay with me.
  
  If you develop a phobia of men that is so bad that it prevents you from interacting with men, then that is YOU problem and you need to work that out.
  
  This is stupid bullshit. Nobody has suggested anything like this and bad faith nonsense wastes everyone’s time. Grow up. It’s obvious you’re taking this woman’s caution as some kind of personal slight. It’s not, and you should really examine where those feelings are coming from.
  
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  - SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    You can’t seriouy say “men are unpredictable and dangerous so I need to vet them before we can interact normally” and pretend that isn’t prejudice.
    
    Replace “men” with “black people” if that helps you self reflect.
    
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    Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I am a man and I’ve been roofied in public. It happens far more frequently than you would like to believe.
    
    I cannot blame any woman who doesn’t want to take that risk with a stranger.
    
    You seem to think I’m targeting men here, but that’s foolish. People are unpredictable, and anyone has the capacity to be dangerous. The only reason to respond to mild caution with such excessive hostility is your own insecurity. Nobody is calling you a rapist here man, it’s not about you, it’s just a precaution.
    
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