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Comment on Has this ever happened to you?

Sounds like setting yourself up to create conflict in a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet.

WTF are you on about, mate?

There’s no other way to read this besides “I think you are a horrible person so I need protection on our public date, why am I going on a date with a horrible person? I wanted dinner”

There absolutely is another way to read it and it’s: “there are lots of horrible people and I wanted to make sure you’re not one of them”.

I guess you reacting to this post in that way puts you bang in the middle of one of those two categories…

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SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
What are you on about?

I just don’t think it’s healthy to assume every man is a psycho and then make them prove it, especially if you want to try dating them.

Luckily, I’m a married lesbian so i don’t have to deal with this stupid shit.

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- Alaknar@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  
  I just don’t think it’s healthy to assume every man is a psycho and then make them prove otherwise, especially if you want to try dating them
  
  It’s a bit difficult to determine just from online interactions, don’t you think?
  
  “Dating” doesn’t mean what it used to mean. These days “dating” means “I swiped right, we talked for an hour or two and now we’re meeting for the first time”.
  
  As long as the other person is upfront about it, I wouldn’t be weirded out if they brought a friend to feel better, honestly, no fucking clue who would have an issue with that. Because it’s not about “all men”, it’s about “I’m meeting a stranger”.
  
  If you’re the person who sees that situation as an attack, you’re better off leaving the other party alone.
  
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  - HarneyToker@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    I mean, that’s sure one way. I have never used a dating app, been on plenty of dates, and am in my 20’s.
    
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  - SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Nah it’s better if people who want to date act like adults.
    
    There are some men who don’t mind being profiled, but being treated like a predator by default in a safe setting is insulting.
    
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theneverfox@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I don’t know about you, but when someone even implies I might be a terrible person I get extremely offended

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- Alaknar@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Yeah, I don’t, because I have enough empathy and intelligence to realise that people who don’t know me… well, don’t know me - and there absolutely are dangerous people out there.
  
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  - theneverfox@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Sure, the danger is real and that people need to protect themselves
    
    It’s also incredibly offensive to do it directly.
    
    The polite thing to do is make being safe a matter of course. It’s very normal to meet in public, it’s normal to do checkup texts, it’s fine to do a group activity if it’s a group activity. We’ve spent decades normalizing subtle ways to do this
    
    There’s a degree of social hygiene necessary, or society falls apart.
    
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    Alaknar@sopuli.xyz ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    
    It’s also incredibly offensive to do it directly.
    
    Only if you’re incredibly insecure about yourself.
    
    The polite thing to do (…)
    
    Overall - I agree, to certain degree. In my opinion, however, society is already “falling apart” due to how social media trains younger people for immediate gratification, everything is fast. Dating is also fast, and people don’t want to “waste time” on “incompatible people”.
    
    Dating these days is “let’s have a date and see what happens”, not “let’s get to know each other and see if we want to date”.
    
    Also, lots of people are pretty lonely, so “group activity” is not possible for them.
    
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