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Yes, you should run. It probably doesn’t do you any good to tell you this now, as I know how intoxicating those times can be, but you should run. I was in exactly this situation. Also it WILL be hard to find equivalent sex in the future. Just try not to think too much about the fact that you might have now peaked in that regard.

If you get to the point that you want some helpful answers, consider reading Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I read it one night, it was so helpful back in the day. See if maybe it touches any sensitive areas.

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rabber@lemmy.ca ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
It’s not just the sex that’s the best though. Nobody’s ever been this nice to me before just in general. I really don’t want to run :(

I’ll check that book thx

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- TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  this is classic abuse victim rationalization.
  
  Just because she treats you less like shit than other people in the past have, doesn’t mean she still isn’t treating you like shit.
  
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  - rabber@lemmy.ca ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I’m mentally ill too to be clear so it kind of goes both ways here lol. I’m a self destructive type of person so I feel like I almost deserve and even enjoy being treated like shit in some sort of way
    
    I’m raised by narcissists and I’m slowly deprogramming from that and I hate to admit this but I think part of the reason I like her is she is extremely easy to manipulate and it’s easy for me to get her to do whatever I want. I don’t really intend to manipulate people but it’s still something I do sometimes that I really wish I didn’t. People with BPD are easily manipulated usually
    
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    TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    oh by all means then. treat each other like shit and rationalize it or whatever.
    
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- ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Same here. She really, really loved me, in her way, and I love(d) her. Closest I’ve had yet to something long-term sustainable. But was it tho? She compared me to Jesus and called me a sex god. She drew my penis as art. Said I looked and smelled like a French king (it was well-intentioned). Really took an interest in my hobbies–to the point that they became her hobbies and it became a lot. We were really, really close. I ended up having to call the police on her when she finally confessed to the cheating and it ended. She shaved her head and moved to Indonesia. As with the highs, so with the lows.
  
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  - Cruxifux@feddit.nl ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Damn you can just up and move to Indonesia like that?
    
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  - rabber@lemmy.ca ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Dude that is crazy. Are you doing ok now? That would traumatize me for the rest of my life.
    
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