As an old fart who witnessed social gatherings for decades, it looks like social stunting comes from smartphones rather than their absence.
Comment on A Tech Rule That Will ‘Future-Proof’ Your Kids
themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks agoIf you wanted to socially stunt them maybe. Please never do this.
memfree@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
This is correct from your perspective only.
Young people are still social but they do it differently, if you are no not online you wouldn’t know their is a social gathering nor would you be invited. Not from malace but because all information about any event only exists online.
The person you consider your best friend needs someone to talk to. All their friends are available but not you. You become hard to bond with because your not where everyone else is in digital space.
Many events even require smartphone, even boring restaurants sometimes do with a QR code to see the menu/order.
I hate that kind of stuff but since a few years it has become clear that not having a smartphone is basically a social disability.
memfree@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
I understand that it is harder to bond to someone who isn't immediately digitally available. I understand that " kids these days! " do their social stuff online, but at the same time, they seem to have largely lost all skill at interacting with real humans of slight or no aquaintence.
It is easy to make sarcastic comments on your phone about how stupid this or that is. The sterotypical basement dweller can snark all day. What takes social skill is actively engaging with people you don't care about and finding common ground.
I'm sure you track some of this on facebook and such, but in real life: in which community groups do you participate? Do you know what your neighbors do and what they like beyond snapshots of events? That is: yeah, you saw that pic of their cookout, but did you know that he volunteer teaches English as a second language Tuesday and Thursday at the library? When was the last time you went into a neighbor's home (or had one visit yours) to share a cup of coffee and complain about that road that needs fixing and who to push about it?
scintilla@crust.piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Do you realize how hostile the outside is to non-adults? Like genuinely I've seen people call the cops because there was a kid riding a bike unsuprivized in a suburban neighborhood. Malls are dying and there's nothing to replace them as a meeting spot.
This isn't even getting into the seeming requirement to spend what feels like 100$ to see a movie now or any of the other stereotypical hang outs. Or how many people have parents that simply do not have time to drive them places.
I'm genuinely interested in your response because I genuinely think the world has become actively hostile to kids being kids.
themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I don’t think you understand. Would it be nice if society was less dependant on phones for everything social? Sure. It is your kid’s responsibility to evangelize to their peers that they have to? Absolutely not.
This isn’t a societal question. This is about affording a kid a social life at all. If a kid doesn’t have a phone when all their peers have one, there’s no “oh well simply only go to events that are shared on something else than phones”, because there are no such events. There’s no “oh well only socialize with people who will make the effort to only have conversations in person”, because there will be at best one kid in the entire school that also doesn’t have a phone (hint: they’ll be the “weird” kid).
This is equivalent to your parents saying “you may only talk to people at school, you aren’t allowed to talk to anyone once you leave school.” Surely you understand that this is a surefire way to completely ostracize and socially stunt your kid, and for what benefit? The only thing you gain is that you get to not parent your kid about safe internet use, a thing you really should be doing anyway because they’re going to get internet access at some point.
Triasha@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
When you were growing up there were places you could go to be social without phones. Those don’t exist anymore. You can’t go to the mall and meet strangers, that would be weird and creepy. If you turn 21, bars do not have young people in them, they are for older people.
There is nowhere gen z people can go to meet other gen z people except online.
I know there is an exception somewhere but for the vast majority of young people today that’s the truth.
memfree@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Triasha@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Genz is 13 to 29 nowadays. Kids that age today are alpha.
Also kids that age in the photo unsupervised today can get their parents arrested.
sexy_peach@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
You’ll need to use a smartphone for most jobs nowadays, even just random dude in a supermarket.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I don’t disagree, but wouldn’t it be better if society rejected that demand from capitalism and forced them to change because people aren’t interested in using an app to shop in a fucking grocery store?
sexy_peach@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
I meant to work at a store but your point still holds I guess
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Maybe not a smartphone, I mean you can still use calls and texts to call out sick answer calls about job interviews.
But yeah you’re not wrong in that smartphone do make life a lot smoother. For example if you want to check your payroll and w2 info, that is gonna require an app on a smartphone, and some of them even requires an app for 2fa because of (supposedly) the increase in fraud, and banking and job applications, while you don’t need a smartphone for those, you’re still gonna need access to a computer, so for someone without a computer, might as well get a smartphone instead of a dumbphone + a computer.
sexy_peach@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
No many jobs even trivial ones give you company phones so you can look stuff up, do inventory management etc
Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
I know kids who's parents kept them away from computers growing up, where as I was allowed to play with computers and broke several by the age of 10.
Now I'm good with computers and have made a good career out of it, those kids who weren't allowed around computers aren't very computer literate, their parents definitely did them a big disservice.
Teach your kids a healthy ballance with new technology, but don't withhold it especially when their peers are all using it.