this is an insightful comment:
When you ignore them instead of engaging on every topic, they think you are giving them the silent treatment, which is also associated with children
but they bore me
Give you the mature ones you can learn from, you say. Have you engaged those people?
hell yeah. Up until I was fired I was learning from them.
But I am saying expecting people to care about you, understand you and treat you well, while you make no effort to do the same, is completely naive and hypocritical.
I disagree: to extroverts this comes naturally, effortless whereas I have to consciously engage and listen to a boring story. To me this is like a second job of top of my duties. Not worth it. I don’t want them to treat me well, I want them to treat me professionally.
What also bothers me is the expectation of having to be best buddies with everyone there. I like choosing my friends. I cannot fake.
I appreciate your comments because you seem genuine but this answer is going to be downvoted into oblivion.
As a matter of fact I don’t believe a learning focused person like me, relatively new to the ER, can fake being extroverted. These behaviors slow me down.
but they bore me. And engaging EVERY topic?
I disagree: to extroverts this comes naturally, effortless whereas I have to consciously engage and listen to a boring story. To me this is like a second job of top of my duties.
Yes, you will occasionally be bored at work. Yes, socializing is a form of work for us introverts. But what you don't seem to get is that this isn't a second job; it's part of the main job.
Lmfao at your entire personality and all your responses in this thread and you accuse others of being boring. Lady, you are like watching paint dry in human form
right back at you
Means less than nothing coming from a brick wall of condescension and self importance
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
First, it is ok to be bored. Yes, people will blather about stuff you don’t care about. At least you are getting paid to listen in a workplace?
Based on context they were referring to the refusal to engage when they said every. Aka not engaging with any topic.
You should engage with some topics instead of zero topics if you want to get along with people. Yes, it can be a lot of work, but less work as you get more practice.
Also this comment is a big warning that your behavior really is the problem. The managers were not saying you need to be best buds with anyone, just that you need to play along with social dynamics sometimes instead of never.
dennis5wheel@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
then we have very different ideas of what is tolerable: to me faking interest is already too much.
I don’t mean that all coworkers/extroverted everywhere are like this, because up until I was fired I was unofficially showing the ropes to a younger coworker who, for whatever reason, chose to trust me. I actually enjoyed talking to her because she was also, work oriented and not gossip oriented. She understood that she was there to work and learn.
I’m going to write what goes through my mind when they waste their breath: first I listen to guess if they talk about something I could relate to but most times it doesn’t so if there’s nothing to do (downtime) I disengage and learn, because I want to be better. When they speak about their stuff, they ignore alarms, patients asking for help and other office jobs and why on earth should I cater to patients when they are like that?
They’re better than me and there’s so much stuff I could learn from them, but they prefer to talk about… unrelated stuff. It’s always me the one who has to inquire about procedures or ECG so they explain something. Most of them are passive.
But this is something management won’t see…
I appreciate your post
medgremlin@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
If you cannot bring yourself to listen to small talk and engage with people regularly, I don’t think healthcare is the right field for you. I’m fairly introverted myself, but I turn that around to listening more than speaking and responding thoughtfully to the things I hear. I believe that I can speak with some authority on this as I have worked in healthcare (mostly ERs) for years, and I am going to be graduating medical school soon.
I will say this bluntly: as a physician, I would be hesitant to trust a nurse that cannot engage with others. Not only is healthcare a team sport, patient care is 90% social interaction. If I can’t trust you to engage with my patients in a way that is reassuring and comforting to them, I don’t want you involved any more than strictly necessary. The fact that you can’t get along with your coworkers is the canary in the coal mine for how you are likely interacting with patients.