Comment on Women Dating Safety App 'Tea' Breached, Users' IDs Posted to 4chan
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 hours agoThe app enables the photos to be run through a reverse image search, enabling them to run a basic background check, check against public sex offender databases, and check for photos that might get flagged as being used in “catfishing” — misrepresenting one’s identity online.
The app also features a “Tea Party Group Chat,” which allows users to directly share information about men, and has a rating function, which allows users to share their experiences with Yelp-style reviews, awarding men a “green flag” or a “red flag.”
www.cnn.com/2025/07/…/tea-app-dating-privacy-cec
It’s a bit like Rate My Professor, but for dating.
Honestly I cyncially expect this kind of app might inevitably exist for rating people of all genders, but the reason this app exists has directly to do with the violence women face from intimate partners.
The point is that men who are enjoying the doxxing of women who have used this app are ignoring the context, or even have a warped sense of the context, as if this is narrowly about (legitimate) privacy concerns.
Even if the concerns about the app are justified, the revenge enjoyment betrays a much harder to defense view that all the women who used the app are equally cupable, or that doxxing women using the app is equivalent to women doxxing abusive men through the app.
Men are not all equally privileged, but there is a broad inequality both to how violence is distributed and how that plays out in dating situations. Women are not wrong to fear men. One in three women have experienced sexual or physical violence, most of that violence being perpetuated by men.
Since this is the context for the use of this app, it’s not neutral to doxx its users or to claim it’s fair because men feel (legitimate) concerns about the app’s privacy violations.
DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 13 hours ago
I agree 100% that women face many more dangers especially in the dating scene than men. I’m all for having resources available for them to remain as safe as possible.
I don’t see how a Rate My Professor type app would work well for dates. I feel like people would only spend the time to rate poor dates. If you had a really good date with someone, you would presumably start dating them so why would you let everyone else know they are a good person to go out with? I have no doubt there are some awful people out there that others should be warned about, but this type of app is a bit too risky to justify that in my opinion.
The background check feature sounds much more legit, but I don’t think a group chat feature needs to exist along side it.
All that being said, anyone enjoying the doxxing of others is just an asshole. There’s definitely nothing fair about it from either side.
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 hours ago
yeah, the app has obvious flaws, and the Rate My Professor style approach succeeds or fails depending on the quality of the users and moderators, and could easily be useless or become toxic - either way, I’m not defending this aspect of the app, it’s clearly problematic.
Regardless I understand why women would want a resource like this, and that doesn’t seem true for those in the comments who see the doxxing as deserved for using this app.
Nevermind the rest of the context, like 4chan being a bastion of right-wing, misogynist trolls who would target an app like this for political reasons. Lemmy users approving on 4chan doxxing of women is a major red flag … it might have something to do with how many Lemmy users come here for being banned for their behavior on Reddit. Reddit isn’t sending their best and brightest, and it shows.