Comment on Women Dating Safety App 'Tea' Breached, Users' IDs Posted to 4chan

• zarkanian@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It’s suspect and dangerous due to its design, not the fact that it’s used by women. If there were an app where employers could rate their employees, it would have the same problems and I’d feel the same way about it.

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  • Zephorah@discuss.online ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    This is a safety feature of women social groups for time immemorial. It’s a piece of how we survived prior to the last 50 years, and it continued as we moved forward into the era of liberation. We talk to each other.

    I realize the “guy code” is one of silence. Cheating? Bros won’t say anything or warn anyone, by this code. In fact, the opposite is demanded by that code. Woman do the opposite, that is how the woman code works. I’ve witnessed fallout in friend groups when these diametrically opposed codes meet on regards to another friend. Apparently, having lunch with the cheated on woman and letting her know what is happening is applauded by women and enraging to men.

    The piece regarding cheating is about integrity and treating people right in addition to safety. The rest of it is usually just about safety.

    We survived millennia between being treated like prized horses. uteruses/vaginas with life support systems attached, and animals to be beaten, by talking to each other. Warning each other. Helping each other, where able.

    The anger here, from you, is 100% expected, but the ordinary nature of that anger doesn’t make women wrong for exposing safety concerns in the dating pool. Given the myriad of diseases, including the incredible comeback of syphilis the last couple years, cheating is also a safety concern. Cheating should be exposed, always.

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    • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I realize the “guy code” is one of silence. Cheating? Bros won’t say anything or warn anyone, by this code. In fact, the opposite is demanded by that code. Woman do the opposite, that is how the woman code works.

      I was not aware of this! I’ll have to consult my bro handbook.

      The anger here, from you, is 100% expected, but the ordinary nature of that anger doesn’t make women wrong for exposing safety concerns in the dating pool.

      What anger I have is directed towards the shitty website that didn’t protect their users’ very private data, and I assume that’s where yours is, too. (And, of course, 4chan, but fuck 4chan all day, every day.)

      I don’t know anything about your “guy code”. I don’t view other men as my allies just because we share a gender, and I don’t view women as adversaries just because they have a different gender. I try to treat everybody the same regardless of gender. I’m not perfect, of course, since I grew up in the same fucked-up patriarchy as everybody else, but I do my best.

      You seem to have very black-and-white thinking.

      Cheating should be exposed, always.

      I’m actually neutral on this statement. I haven’t had this experience, but if I knew that a friend was being cheated on, I think that the appropriate thing to do would be to inform them. If both the cheater and the cheatee were my friends, that would make things harder, and I would have a dilemma. If my friend is the cheater and I’m not friends with the cheatee, then I’m minding my own business. Again, though, I haven’t had this experience, so it’s hard to say what I would do for sure.

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    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Cheating? Bros won’t say anything or warn anyone,

      Been cheated on by 3 different women. Guess how many of their friends told me what was happening. 0. So does that mean that her friends actually identified as men, or that you’re biased and actually this isn’t a “men” thing? Not one of them “had lunch” with me, so they must not have been women.

      I’ve literally been cheated on by 3 different women and never cheated on anyone myself. The one time I was the 3rd party, the woman lied and said her and her BF had broken up, but they hadn’t. As such I’m absolutely sick of this whole “men cheat and women are perfect creatures who are perpetual victims” shit. Women cheat too.

      Where’s my “cheating cunts” app to post pics and shit talk them, that also includes “pro” features such as address and phone number? Turnabout is fair play.

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    • echodot@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Okay so you’re now mad about some perceived social convention that you think all men follow. Ironic.

      If one of my friends was cheating on his girlfriend and I knew I would definitely tell her, why wouldn’t I? Of course, the likelihood is that if they were the type to cheat on their girlfriend they’re probably not the sort of person I’d be hanging out within the first place.

      So you’re now self-selecting for obnoxious people who think that women are just trophies. But that’s not “guy code” that’s just crap people, and there are absolutely women who will cheat on men and their friends will cover it up and say things like “ooh what happens in Ibiza/Vegas”.

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  • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Don’t look up something called, and I’m not remembering it perfectly, ‘the number,’ in the US, anyway.

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