Comment on Women are anonymously spilling tea about men in their cities on viral app

m3t00@piefed.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

• Fredselfish@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  So how this app work? Women take pics of men they see in public then rate them? Can someone explain how this keeps women safe?

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  • mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    More like women can create a profile for men in their lives, and other women can share their experiences with that man. It’s sort of a publicly sourced Burn Book. It was apparently started because the creator’s mom had some bad dating experience, and basically lamented about how there wasn’t a good way for women to share stories about the men they’ve dated. Like “wouldn’t it be nice if women could stick red flags to a dude, to warn his potential partners in the future?”

    So if a dude is an abuser, his victims can create a profile for him, where other women can share their experiences too.

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    • AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      the women using the app basically say that the potential safety in dating outweighs the potential for abuse.

      Of course they do, they’re getting safety and somebody else is getting abuse.

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    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      “wouldn’t it be nice if women could stick red flags to a dude, to warn his potential partners in the future?”

      Nope. Personal bias and people change.

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    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If a dude cheats, he can be put on blast for other women to see.

      I had my first real relationship in highschool. We’d been dating for three years, but the last few months the relationship had felt strained and she just wouldn’t tell me why. She had also seemingly been getting closer to this other guy in one of her classes, like, one day he drew a smiley face on the inside of her thigh, and in retrospect I should have just left her right then, but I was in love and inexperienced. A few months later, she broke up with me and wouldn’t give me a clear “why.” I was devestated. About a year goes by (after she dates that guy, and he abuses her, surprise surprise) and she wants to “catch up.”

      Come to find out, the reason all that happened was because she thought I had cheated on her with my best friend’s girlfriend. I’ve still to this day never cheated on anyone, nor had sex with a friend’s girlfriend (though one time a friend of mine did lie and say her and her BF broke up, but she was my friend not him, and she lied, I never would have knowingly done it.) Hell to this day I still struggle developing platonic friendships where I can chill alone with women because I don’t want their partners nor mine to become suspicious and it traces back to this exact incident, I prefer if I do hang out platonically with women if there’s a witness that can corroborate no funny business happened if we’re questioned, I literally have long lasting psycological effects over this bullshit.

      What I’m trying to say is, I’m glad that in addition to being heartbroken, devastated, not told why, not know why our local scene who she can talk to suddenly thinks I’m scum (in fact it took me a while to even realize I’d become a paraiah), and the long lasting psychological damage of her cheating in revenge and the leaving me for something that never happened yadda yadda, that I wasn’t also lied about to a wider internet audience on an ostensibly permanent basis searchable by name so that any woman I ever meet for the rest of my life can see my ex gf’s incorrect suspicion which was likely manipulated by that abuser in the first place, as fact.

      And people wonder why I gave up on dating.

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  • AceSLive@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I have no personal experience with the app at all, so what I am about to say comes from things I heard, or inferences I’ve made about the app - but…

    I see the merit of an app like this for keeping people safe, but have no idea how it could be used without any possibility of it being abused.

    On the face of it all, basically, if a man is abusive or in any way dangerous, or raises “red flags” for women, this app can help other women be aware. Lots of narcissistic assholes come across as lovely people at the start, but by the end are abusive people. My wifes ex husband, is one example, of a psychopathic narcissist. If only we could utilise an app like this to let other women know just who he is, and what to watch out for…

    On the other side of it, of course, it’s all too easy to say someone is abusive or dangerous to defame or isolate that person. Women have the ability to be just as abusive as men. An abusive woman may use this app to make other women in their community scared of/avoidant of a man who isn’t in any way a danger to anyone.

    Basically, my understanding of the app is that it allows women to give information about men they know and have dated, so other women can get a sort of background check on said men

    But this, of course, could easily be misused and abused.

    The app also required photo ID to prove you were a woman using the app, which recently was breached and ALL of the ID that was submitted is now viewable by anyone. So… yeah

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