Comment on We really don't want to talk about our problems

grueling_spool@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  To be fair it’s also men doing this to other men mostly. Women participate in toxic masculinity too, but really, men give each other a lot of shit with very little support.

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  • Alaik@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Without giving away my age (But I do predates smart phones and home internet use), I’ve found men are perfectly fine with venting assuming the setting is right. Small group? Beer? Sure. Something embarrassing happens in the moment? Not so much.

    Its everyone but your male friends who will give you shit for showing any emotion but anger.

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    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I can confirm this despite likely being younger. Small group and sufficient alcohol helps.

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    • queermunist@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You say “everyone” but it’s still just other men.

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      • Alaik@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Nope, I meant everyone.

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  • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    For sure, women usually say they want a man who can show his feelings. It’s just that the second he does cry about anything other than a dead child, she gets the ick and loses all respect for him, in my personal experience. I think they talk a big game but when the chips are down they find out they’re not actually as into it as they thought.

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    • Lucelu2@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Ok, but in my experience, it is manflu they are whining about and having to do house chores while having it. Shit I deal with every fucking day.

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      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yeah I hate being understanding when my gf is sick or on her period too, like man up and wash them dishes bitch!

        Oooooor you could be more understanding if one of you is under the weather regardless of gender I guess if you wanna be a loser.

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  • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    anecdotally, as a guy in my thirties, even my acquaintances (wouldn’t actually consider them friends tbh, since we only hang out at rec game times) are quite supportive. sure there’s the surface level of shit talk, but if you start to get serious, they do too. a few of them surprised me with this.

    in my experience nowadays, it’s equally just shitty people of any gender that say suck it up, no real bias one way or another

    but that’s of course just my own circles. I tend to just drop out of (or not join in the first place) any circle that has shitty people

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  • HalfSalesman@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    In my experience, when a man complains about their ‘men’ problems to anyone online they’re given the treatment grueling_spool is describing by both men and women.

    But in more “insulated” face to face conversations its pretty varied/mixed. I suspect this is mostly an “all to all” online conversation effect. There are people who are absolutely ruthless online towards men complaining about problems men specifically face and they will find complaining men and mock them.

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    • grueling_spool@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I think I probably agree with your assessment, but I really just wanted to highlight that this thinking is endemic to western culture, or at least the slice of it with which I am familiar. Sure, a lot of people might not say things like this face-to-face, but you probably wouldn’t be shocked if you witnessed it, would you?

      Just like with any other harmful idea, all it takes is one person in a room to say it loudly and persistently while everyone else says nothing (or fecklessly points out the person’s gender as if dispensing some profound insight).

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  • dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    To be fair, who said it wasn’t also men?

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• 0x0@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  There’s a community here on lemmy to counter that.

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