You just lack the self-awareness and victimise yourself under the guise of “men’s issues” so that other guys can emapthise with you and give credence to the idea that men are simultaneously completely forgotten about and that mental healthcare is a soft-science, or doesn’t work for us. When clearly you can see how in this male dominated space, your feelings are not forgotten about. But, because you’ve never actually been to therapy and don’t understand the core concepts. Everything falls back to “society treats women like this and treats men like this” and “this is the reason therapy is bad.” When the reality is that self-reflection and analyses is hard and a skill and very taxing. That’s why people do drugs instead of going to therapy. It’s why men coalesce around the idea that we’re treated “worse” by “society” forgetting that men and women basically make up all of society. Ironically, making your own safe space where you can appeal to shallow emotional arguments around injustice and inequity, while also complaining that the tools, knowledge and science we have at our disposal don’t work.
It’s this really apparent cognitive dissonance that you display here. i.e. You take the premise, stating that talking about your feelings, analysing your behaviour and coming to conclusions about yourself (therapy) is a waste of time. But also, nobody cares about men’s issues and your psychological state isn’t something you have any agency over, but it is a rational response to the state of the world around you. You should read Viktor Frankl. He was an Austrian Neurologist and psychiatrist who was put into forced labour at a concentration camp during World War 2. It nearly killed him, but he survived and died 50 years later. He published a book called Man’s Search for Meaning. Which is a detailed account of how happiness can be achieved in the most unthinkably monstrous circumstances. How Love, Beauty and Humour can exist if you look for and cultivate them and how those glimmers, no matter how small. Lend to his assertion that meaning can be found in the most miserable of conditions.
Which immediately discounts the doomerism you display in your other comments. I’d also say listen to some Alan Watts if you really are stuck in this mindset. He was much more a philosophical entertainer than an actual great thinker. But, one of his better opinions is that, you are your mindset and your metal health. Like, if you perceive, or tell yourself you perceive all of these horrible things about the economy, housing, the state of human loneliness. Then that is what you feel, it will be true to you and you will be unable to do anything. Alternatively, if you move away from constantly thinking about existential threats. To just actually, what is in front of you perceptively. You can find these glimmers of positivity that give your life dignity and meaning. It’s the same as before, when I confronted you on the sexism of saying, “women are therapists, women can’t understand men. Therefore, mental healthcare doesn’t work for men.”
I confronted you about that and then you made it existential by tasking me with finding how many therapists across the entire field (and there are thousands of niche categories within this discipline, just fyi) are unbiased.
how many well trained therapists are there out there who are totally objective, compared to poorly trained ones who will often perpetual their harmful biases?
does anyone know? how do we even measure that? do we just assume people who have a certain degree from a certain program are inherently ‘objective’?
Which are things no one can possibly know, which are not necessary to know in order for what your saying to be proven false, or for therapy to be effective. You purposefully make it existential by doing that. Because, now you’ve made an impossible task an essential requirement for you to change your perspective on things. You require it to change your perspective on therapy and actually go. This way, you dismiss what I am saying and then you don’t have to do the thing you don’t want to. You can just, sound like advocate for men’s issues and then you can get all the emotional validation you require from other men, who also feel disenfranchised, in the form of supportive comments and updoots. All without having to go through the painful, (coded: humiliating) and personally challenging prospect of psychotherapy. Honestly dude, you read very much, like someone who really wants therapy.
Who wants to understand why they are this way, wants to be understood and wants to improve their life. But, it’s expensive, what if I don’t like them? What if it doesn’t work? So, instead you get emotional validation anyway you can. By appealing to the male disenfranchisement sentiment, which is literally everywhere online from Andrew Tate to Sam Seeder. It perpetuates wallowing in victimhood which is tantamount to drugs in terms of emotional coping. The ultimate goal of therapy is to overcome these issues. So, that while the factually true things about the negative existential events we cannot control continue to occur. It does not become a crutch to support your failures in interpersonal communications, bad behaviours, lack of motivation, or lack of emotional fulfillment. Seriously, I recognise from what you’re saying that you’ve never been to psychotherapy. Genuinely, it would help you stop equating your personal feelings with the inequity of men’s issues, which would make those problems feel less like existential threats and help you improve your life. I’m not even trying to be condescending, I recognise this as a neuroticism I have dealt with as a younger man and I can speak from experience. Confronting it honestly and with curiosity and self-reflection has massively improved my outlook on life and helped me become much more secure in my masculinity.
Give it a try, because the other option is you just self-flagellate in this cyclical mindset of victimisation that doesn’t actually go anywhere and is only validated by others caught in this myopic and isolating worldview. Give it a shot.
Doom@ttrpg.network 3 weeks ago
But that’s not what we’re talking about
Men statically run the most businesses, hold the management positions and other seats of authority so they’re the ones dictating and deciding things in the world. That’s the disparity, not wealth
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
rich men do those things. poor men do not.
so do rich women.
Doom@ttrpg.network 3 weeks ago
Untrue completely. Go to your local Costco, BJs, Walmart, Best Buy and tell me what the managers look like, some will be women sure but most especially the GMs will be men.