Comment on Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

• pupbiru@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  i’d like to be very clear here… a lot of discussion about men’s spaces is thinly veiled sexism by incels… that doesn’t mean there’s not a problem, it just means that incels are attracted to “it’s not my fault”

  that said, there’s a comment up thread that captures it pretty well

  … mental health professionals all my ‘issues’ were blow way out of proportion … always 100% told me everything that happens to me is entirely my fault. they also told me it was normal/healthy to vent my feelings by doing productive things (like writing, exercising, relaxing), rather than viewing that as ‘not addressing the problem’.

  the issue with so much of this crap is that not only does nobody want to talk to men, it’s that they don’t want to listen and/or the tell us we are ‘talking wrong’. even when we do talk to people, there is only a tiny window of acceptable things we an talk about and way we can talk about them or how selfish it is of him to vent/indulge his legitimate emotions.

  … a man bursts into tears over his father dying of cancer and all the sudden everyone wants to tell him his reaction is too intense … someone in his life try to get him to ‘open up’ and then we he does he’s met with nothing but hostility, disappointment, and eventually rejection

  it’s a meme these days that there are horrible men who tell women (re sexism) “you must have misunderstood”… and the point of that is that you don’t have the life experience as a minority to be able to understand sexism, transphobia, etc

  that same situation exists for men too… men are certainly not a minority, but nobody is allowed to say that someone’s experience is invalid… there’s a lot of people dismissing these experiences in this thread, and if it were reversed: a woman complaining about a man making a sexist comment, a gay man (of which i’m one) complaining about homophobia, there wouldn’t be any pushback at all because we’ve come to agree that this shit happens

  we know that toxic masculinity exists, we know that societal expectations of men are sky high (the suicide rate for men in particular is HUGE)… we’re clearly doing something wrong, as a society, dealing with male mental health… when people come out and tell us their experiences, it absolutely is sexist to write of those experiences as invalid: “i don’t think that kind of thing happens because i haven’t seen it”, is absolutely (anything)-ist language

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  • Gladaed@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I expected you to mean people exhibiting toxicity and not reporting about it. I was surprised because the comments seemed civil at large. Thank you.

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    • pupbiru@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      yeah id say it’s not overt, but that’s kinda the problem… it’s almost difficult to identify, so when it comes to mental health for men a lot of the time society, therapists, etc almost gaslights us into thinking our problems aren’t problems

      if it were overt it’d be easy to identify… the fact what it’s not, the fact that are the majority, and are the problem in a lot of cases pushes people to certain conclusions (including ourselves about our own problems)

      mental health is complex af

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      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        incels are people. their problems are legitimate problems.

        why society can’t acknowledge this is beyond me. I guess because it’s socially unpalatable.

        incels or any extremist thing (terfs, religions extremists, etc) … is a product of the same issues. but people just want those people to ‘go away’ and not address the issues that would actaully make them go away… because that is hard.

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