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ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“What you can offer” certainly includes the fruits/expressions of your personality, so I assume you mean either your money (if you’re a dude) or your body (if you’re a lady). The usual way has always been to interact thoroughly with the other person without giving much/any of these things and seeing where things are in some weeks/months time. “Making him wait”, like grandma said. Some people are good liars and plan long-term but, except for these sociopaths, this method usually works.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Dang. Now you got me wondering.
Why do we like anyone? And is our entire concept of a true friend only based on which qualities society has deemed shallow vs sincere?
Am I just using my friends for their interesting conversation, witty jokes, and ability to play video games with me? If it wasn’t for any of those qualities, would I even want to hang out with them?
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Using? Human beings are social animals, just bringing your natural ‘good vibes’ is enough for most people to feel they’ve been ‘repaid’, lol. And you probably wouldn’t but that just means that the world is a big place and that people have different interests. You wouldn’t hang out with someone into sports, perhaps, but it doesn’t mean they cannot be good people, right? Deeper connections just require more commonalities, of course.
I didn’t understand the first part but depth/shallowness are ‘hard labels’ for something that exists as a spectrum, but it’s a real one, not just one dependant on ‘society’. Well, I think, at least.
foggy@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If you wanna know look into optimal self distinctiveness. Its a framework in group social psychology that seeka to explain why we might be slightly different versions of ourselves within different groups, and what this says about an individuals need for ‘fitting in’ can do to modify their behaviors or preferences.
peteyestee@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
It kind of sounds like you need a purpose for your life and you just kind of floating or existing.
This is all easier said than done, but sometimes you need to be alone and to learn who you really are and your authentic purpose. Most people just escape reality through pop cultures and never know who they really are, they just know the life path marketing and social trends led them down.