She could have filmed him and got him fired. You spit on people you get punched. If you are going to start a fight don’t do it by doing something that instantly starts the fight while doing nothing to actually slow down your opponent. She could still have backed away, used pepper spray, used a taser, punched back.
All of these would see him face 99.9% of the consequences instead of him being dead and her life ruined.
You can’t start a fight and claim self care.
flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
So let me first say, I took that word for word, in the order you see it, from an earlier New York Post article. I hate giving them any attention, but the screenshot of a headline we’re commenting on came from a blurb from the same website, as an ‘update’ to the article I linked. It really shows that ya’ll didn’t actually read anything, and are just commenting on other comments. They were at a bodega, where she allegedly cut in line. That’s what started all this. She was supposed to ‘get him fired’ when he was off duty? You know how hard it is to get a postal worker fired?
So they’re just two people at a bodega. She allegedly cut in line- I can’t see her saying she did, or didn’t, or where there was any reported camera footage. This dude starts screamin and cussin. She spits in his face. He hits her three times, she knifes him with the knife she just bought next door.
The fact that people are jumping to defend a guy hitting a woman for spitting in his face, because it’s “escalating” and disrespectful, but ignoring that it was a response to escalating and disrespectful behavior, is ridiculous. You don’t blame the guy who got knifed for yelling slurs first? You don’t blame the guy for striking her after getting spit in the face? Why is she supposed to quietly and meekly accept this behavior when he can make her feel unsafe?
A man makes me feel unsafe and then hits me, three times! Three! I should absolutely knife him. I probably should’ve knifed him after the first time. (I’m kind of a big wimp so I don’t think I’d be able to knife a guy, but I for sure would be right to defend myself.) And you know what? I’m a dumpy, middle-aged, short white woman. If a guy hits me even once and I knife him in self defense, and then say, “he deserved it,” there are a lot of people who would be agreeing with me.
loudwhisper@infosec.pub 4 weeks ago
Spitting on someone is an assault. Insulting someone is not. The two things are not comparable.
To be clear, I wouldn’t escalate anything in general, if someone cuts in line or whatever, not worth picking a fight for such silly things. But if you spit to someone in their face, getting punched is something that it’s well within the realm of things you should expect. From an ethical point of view, I probably wouldn’t do either, but in general spitting is what turned this uncivilized event (from both parties) into a fight.
Self-defense laws vary a lot across countries. At least where I live, defense has to be motivated and proportional. If someone would slap you - for example - and you stab them, that probably wouldn’t count as self-defense. I would personally disagree with you in that context, and probably a judge would too (at least here).
flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
I don’t like arguing from a legal standpoint, because a legal standpoint is not necessarily a moral one, but where I live, things are different.
loudwhisper@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
Stabbing has always the risk of being fatal. No slur deserves death.
Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 weeks ago
Lemmy just hates women tbh
flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
I keep thinking… nobody (that I know of) was mad when that one guy called the other the n word, and threatened to beat his ass, so he bashed his face in with a twisted tea. A woman gets slurred at and spits in a guy’s face, and it’s okay to hit her? Three times? She’s not allowed to defend herself?
It’s hypocritical. Either hate speech is violence or it’s not.
(In case it’s not clear, I may not have violence in me, but I fully believe twisted tea guy did the right thing.)
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
That (and that history of mental illness) make me think they should’ve put her in a mental institution. The woman is not well. The attention from this isn’t going to fix it either, that’s for sure.
I mean, there’s video of her getting beaten on by a couple of men either earlier this year, or last year. She said before the whole knife incident that she’d kill the guy if he laid hands on her, because no one is going to ever do that to her again. “Never again” is something I’ve heard from many other survivors. This woman has a responsibility not to be around others who might trigger her (especially while she possesses a knife) but I feel like that’s the survivor mantra.
And I feel like she’s not getting grace that I would get in her position.
Now I love sharing what my fiance thinks when stuff like this happens, and his opinion is, she shouldn’t have escalated it, she was wholly wrong, 15 years is dumb. It’s hilarious that we have very different reasoning and the same conclusion.