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Comment on Are there any Lemmy/Mbin instances by women for women?

TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.

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SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
The court thing is not universally true. I worked in a family law firm for several years, and the practice in the courts here is to start from a baseline of equal custody and placement, and I’ve heard the same about other states. The men who lost out were the ones who wouldn’t fight, because they were convinced that the courts were biased. But hell, in one case, we got full custody and placement for a guy whose son wasn’t even biologically his! (His wife cheated, and he didn’t find out until well after they’d emotionally bonded.)

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Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Man, I have been in SO MANY internet arguments where I am simultaneously arguing against a woman that yes, men have problems, while also arguing against a man that no, those problems are not worse on the whole than women have.

Back when the whole “bear in the woods” thing was going around misogynists would try to jump in and support me.

Woman: “all men are rapists”

Me: “that’s insulting and hurtful and misandrist, and also not even close to true”

Misogynist: “Yeah! And also women are heartless bitches!”

Me: “I don’t remember asking YOU a goddamn thing”

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- AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  no one is saying all men are rapists. what they are saying is that the statistics are great enough that women have to be on edge around all men. I wish you would take the passion you have for arguing against a generalization and devote it towards making sure the men around you aren’t part of the issue. I say that as a trans women who has seen the issue from both sides. I understand where you’re coming from, truly, but having been socialized male I saw that every man has chances to change the people around them and 99.9% fail to do so.
  
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  - Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    
    no one is saying all men are rapists
    
    You know that’s not true.
    
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    AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    you wouldn’t argue if I said all bears are dangerous, even if some will walk right up to you and let you feed them from your hand. again, you should take your anger at this turn of phrase and devote it to something that actually helps your cause.
    
    and for the love of god, it might be time to analyze where you’re getting the news from. if you actually believe the fox news ass all men are rapists line then I dont know what to tell you, your critical thinking might just be fried.
    
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    Sonor@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    
    No one is saying all men are rapists…
    
    Proceeds to say ALMOST all men to the level that ALL women are afraid of them.
    
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  - drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Well, what do you want done?
    
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AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
yep. the difference is, when women have been disadvantaged they tend to create spaces and pathways to talk about or change it. unfortunately a lot of men tend to isolate, even though they are not alone. then when they something about a women receiving help through programs created by women for women their feelings of being abandoned by the system come up again. it’s just another way that toxic masculinity hurts everyone. the fix for that is of course feminism, but it’s a pretty massive barrier for most men to accept that.

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- Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Men don’t always isolate by choice. There’s a large cultural aversion to creating and sustaining male-only spaces, and that aversion comes from all sectors.
  
  Every college campus has a women’s club but if you try making a men’s club you’ll probably get reprimanded.
  
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  - AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    every college campus has men’s clubs their called fraternities
    
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    Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    You know that’s not what I’m talking about.
    
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    drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    yeah, thats the problem. The only mens places are altright infested shit holes. Its liftest mens places that are discouraged.
    
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