Comment on Maybe it's just a human thing.

• StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Every woman I know has experienced at least sexual harrasment. Most have experienced SA or rape. Even if a man hasn’t done it, he will probably stick by his shitty mates who do or will still stay friends with them because awkwardness and bravery is harder for them than silent compliance.

  If its “not all men” then it is certainly all women.

  I’m picking that bear over you.

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  • Plastic_Ramses@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’m sorry you have a hard life.

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    • StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      That’s just womanhood

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• Banana@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Can’t say I’ve ever come across one of those

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  • kshade@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    There is a lot of overlap, TERFs usually have a problem with trans women because they deeply mistrust men. The “R” is there for a reason.

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    • Banana@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I have to say personally I surround myself with wonderful and kind men so it makes sense that I’ve never met someone in real life who so adamantly hates all of them.

      I understand being wary of men for statistical reasons, for example I won’t get into a situation where I’m in a room alone with a man I don’t know well, but that’s not to say I assume every man I meet is a rapist.

      Hell, hot take incoming (this one is controversial): we can even acknowledge that a lot of men have raped people without knowing it for many years because of the way they were socialized with media that encouraged pestering for sexual attention. A lot of men I know are guilty of this but I think it’s important that that can be redeemable if they recognize that it happened and have since changed their behaviour. This seems to be an extremely common experience and I wouldn’t go as far as to call them rapists because that was not their intention and they are usually horrified when they realize it.

      Sorry for the tangent, I do feel like this isn’t talked about enough.

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      • kshade@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        we can even acknowledge that a lot of men have raped people without knowing it

        I wouldn’t go as far as to call them rapists because that was not their intention

        I see what you’re getting at, but I really wouldn’t use that word in any context where there might have been, for example, a power dynamic or some form of coercion, for example. Keeping it reserved for situations where violence or significant coercion are involved is better for everyone, especially the victims.

        Doesn’t mean using mild coercion/emotional blackmail/pestering/shaming/… is okay behaviour, it’s just way less severe because saying no won’t usually do much beyond change the relationship between the people involved. Talking about that is fine and good, using “rape” to describe it will probably shut down any conversation before it can even begin, though.

        I’d also argue that that sort of behaviour is something both men and women engage in, maybe in different ways but, well, the expectation on men is to always be sexually available, so it sometimes becomes an issue when they are not. Mutual respect and understanding really are the most important things in a relationship, both participants are fully realized human beings, not just “the girlfriend/wife” or “the boyfriend/husband”. But people seem to forget that some time.

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