Comment on The one drawback to walking at night
Snowclone@lemmy.world 2 months agoImagine if you had to deal with actually being targeted as a minority or woman. You’d be so mad, dude.
Comment on The one drawback to walking at night
Snowclone@lemmy.world 2 months agoImagine if you had to deal with actually being targeted as a minority or woman. You’d be so mad, dude.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 months ago
I’m a guy who dresses like a girl. I get cat called, threatened to be raped and then called a faggot and thrown into a position where I have to physically defend myself. Yet as you have so eloquently shown people who aren’t horny for me, see me as a man first. My privilege is assumed and as such I am not granted the community that the above white woman automatically receives. I am fucking mad. You’re looking at injustice passively, like it’s my fault.
Where is your fucking anger?
Snowclone@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’m not angry at women for fearing violent abuse from men. I think you’re misdirecting this A LOT. If as a person you hear ‘‘men might kill me’’ and you think ‘‘poor poor men, why can’t they catch a break’’ your problem isn’t passive adittudes to bigotry, it’s having no idea that other people have problems and fears and threats and they are as upset about them as you would be in their shoes.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 months ago
My problem is going up to men and proclaiming “men might kill me” and expecting that to go over well. Like let me just walk up to someone transgender and exclaim “transgender people might rape my children.” That is objectively such a horrific thing to say. But no one cares when you say it about men. Because a man obviously will actually kill you 🙄
SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 2 months ago
How many examples are there of trans people raping children?
How many examples of men raping women are there?
I’m a male and I’m not getting wounding up about this. Grow up.
Snowclone@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Are you mad at trans people when they say they aren’t going to be safe in a men’s bathroom? Because they won’t be. I Don’t know why it’s the man part of the statement that you are so upset by. I’m also a man. I’m not hurt by this entirely justified fear that women have.
AGAIN. You are attacking women for fearing men, because they aren’t being sensitive enough to men while expressing fear for their life. This isn’t about men’s feelings. It’s about the women’s feelings. It’s OK to express entirely justified fears.
I’ve been a person who’s had to help document stalking, to help get restraining orders, to put policy in place to prevent men targeting young women. This is a part of running any open to the public business where women work, or frequent. You have to know this as a matter of business management that when a worker or shopper says ‘‘I don’t know this man following or talking to me, and I’m getting scared’’ that you need to take it seriously, and also be aware your two steps behind. It shouldn’t get to that point.
You have to notice when a guy comes in twice to talk to the same cashier, you have to pull them off the floor everytime he comes back, and if he asks once about that staff member, you HAVE to start paperwork. That’s the crucial point. That’s where if you do nothing, someone can get hurt or killed.
THAT EARLY is when you need to have paperwork, offical trespassing complaints, restraining orders, that’s when you need to know that man has been pushed back enough to pull his head out of his ass and realize the high school or college age girl at a shirt folding store isn’t going to fall in love with him, and some pressure to let him know, you’ve already been caught, you can’t get away with it, you’ll never get away with it.
Women deal with this EVERY SINGLE DAY they go out into public alone. I had to learn this. I had no idea it was this bad, I childishly thought cat calling was a thing that only happened in like three different streets in NYC or Boston. Not so. There’s guys with a wife and kids in his 40s driving to work in my small town who will roll down their window and scream obscene things at high school kids they think are hot walking to school.
_lunar@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Men, statistically, actually might kill you. Transgender people, statistically, aren’t going to rape your kids. You’re including yourself when women talk about negative experiences from men when you don’t have to. Again, men ≠ all men including you.
_lunar@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
You dress like a girl, experience what most female-presenting people experience, and you still don’t fucking understand. Amazing. Tell me, was it women cat calling you and threatening to rape you? Or was it other men? If so, this bigotry wasn’t bigotry against men, it was bigotry against a man who isn’t masculine enough for other men’s standards. Bigotry against a man thought to be a woman by other men. The problem once again remains toxic masculinity manifested in men, or to put it simply, men.
I’m angry for the discrimination you’ve experienced, but I’m not directing it toward women who are speaking about experiencing the same things you have at the hands of men, the way you are in this thread.
Your problem is that you are assuming when we say “men” we’re including you and literally every other man in existence. Words have meanings and there’s a reason why we’re not specifically using “all.”
You’re not going to be treated well for being feminine-presenting until misogyny is defeated, and that isn’t going to happen until guys like you stop being dismissive of women’s experiences because you get defensive on behalf of all men for no fucking reason.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 months ago
I don’t blame men for it because it’s not mens fault it’s that fuckers fault. You don’t understand and you don’t even want to. I don’t blame women for harassing me and refusing service to me when I’m trying to buy clothes. You know who I blame. I blame that fucker.
_lunar@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
By choosing to ignore that men are the primary offenders of violence not just against women but in general, only viewing it as an individual failings, we won’t be able to make any progress toward remedying the actual problem at hand. Men are socialized under patriarchy, it gives many of them (not all of them and I’m tired of having to say this) a poor sense of emotional regulation and an even poorer view of women as equal human beings who are deserving of fair treatment. You’re the one who doesn’t want to understand, and your point of view services the unjust status quo that thinks that crime should be addressed after it’s committed rather than addressing the social conditions of the source.