I try to wipe after bidet, and the paper disintegrates and sticks to my ass in a million pieces. What am I doing wrong?
Comment on Does anyone *not* love using their bidet?
Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I’ve got me some IBS, and have had a raw asshole on several occasions from the multi-poops.
Got a cold water model off Amazon for under $100, and love it. Not too much of a pain to install, and once it’s set it works great. No more raw ass.
How I Use It
I lean forward so the cheeks open up like a delicate flower, then I turn the knob until I get a nice steady firehose blasting my asshole. I then shift my weight so the water runs along my crack, power washing both surfaces, then return to center for a final rinse of the dirty mud hole. If my butt’s a tingling from my unholy addiction to hot peppers, I might linger a bit to let the cool water soothe the pain, before finally turning off the water.
After a few seconds of dripping, it’s time for the paper. Grab a sheet or two and give a wipe, see if there’s any residue left. If so, keep wiping till it’s gone as usual, but using like 1/3 the paper you’d normally use for the same job. Now there’s no more raw anus unless I get the shits at work, and have to wipe with the literal tree bark they call toilet paper.
nieceandtows@programming.dev 1 year ago
weedwhacking@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Since you’ll be using way less TP overall, go for the nice thick 2-3 ply with ripples it’s worth the extra cost.
Once you become a bidet pro and feel confident in your ability to be squeaky clean each time (I’m not afraid to go in there with some soap as if I’m in the shower after a particularly messy movement) you can opt for cutting up old undies and using them as reusable/washable towels to dry off with and stop using toilet paper all together.
JoBo@feddit.uk 1 year ago
Get better toilet paper and/or use more sheets.
Ransom@lemmy.one 1 year ago
I like to fill my asshole with water and then blast it out a couple of times. Keeps them insides clean, too.
knightry@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Bidet poetry.