goldteeth
@goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com
- Comment on I'm blue ba da ba da dee da ba dieee 1 day ago:
no, but it does pass the Smurfdel Smurf
- Comment on America could have avoided all of this with a functional justice system 3 weeks ago:
God, we were truly robbed of one of history’s greatest power vacuums. That shit would’ve made the Death of Stalin look like a church picnic. It starts with Vance saying he should be the obvious front-runner because he was totally the pick for VP, you just gotta trust him guys, he doesn’t have anything in writing because it was a secret handshake deal but he was totally gonna be the VP, ask anyone, and it ends with Ron DeSantis burying Mike Pence in cement while Nikki Haley drowns the convention center in gasoline.
- Comment on I finally caught it on tape! The stutter that will randomly happen once per day and I have no idea what's causing it 4 weeks ago:
I had something similar happen once because I had a hard drive that had set itself to automatically turn off to save power after X amount of inactivity, and my computer would briefly lock up for a few seconds every hour or so when my search indexer or what-have-you tried to access it and it powered itself back on.
- Comment on There isn’t an AI bubble—there are three 5 weeks ago:
Which, much like the AI Bubble, is piloted by a digitally-synthesized clown and is always at least five minutes away from being swallowed whole by a series of increasingly-bigger fish. And it only works if you dump an entire planet’s worth of water on it. And it’s our heroes’ only hope in the fight against the corporate warlords and their army of clanker- Okay so it’s not a perfect metaphor.
- Comment on Minecraft Creator Says That If Buying a Game Is Not a Purchase, Then Pirating It Is Not Theft 3 months ago:
Fortunately several thousand other people made that same point long before he did.
- Comment on Why is nobody mad about TGI Fridays taking the lords name in vain? 5 months ago:
They spell it out under their FAQ but I doubt that’s legally binding
- Comment on [deleted] 5 months ago:
How much food and what is it?
…Did we mention it doubles as a convenient dumping ground for mob snitches?
- Comment on If trump shaved his head and didn't wear any makeup do you think you would recognize him? 6 months ago:
Motherfucker looks like he sleeps in a space blanket and knows a lot about the Magna Carta.
- Comment on "Cheers", but set in a fantasy tavern. 6 months ago:
“Hale and well-met, everybody.”
“Nørmr!”
“What would you say to an ale, there, Nørmr?”
“I’d say ‘Make peace with the spirits of your ancestors, for you shall soon greet them in Valhalla.’”
- Comment on Heat Miser's kind of pale for a heat miser. 7 months ago:
Who Sun-Tans the Sun-Tanner?
- Comment on In the US, it's finally socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands 8 months ago:
I would argue that the one that exploded over DC last month had almost certainly ceased to be a plane by the time it hit the ground.
- Comment on DOJ wraps up ad tech trial: Google is “three times” a monopolist 10 months ago:
Slowly but deliberately, Google’s deeply southern lawyer rises to his feet, stopping only a moment to adjust his crisp white suit and bolo tie.
“Now, your honor, I’m just a simple country lawyer, and I don’t know much about math-ematics or the like, but if my momma taught me anything, it’s that three is greater than one. In fact, your honor, I do believe that three times one is in fact itself the equal to the number three. And if, as the plaintiff claims, my client is ‘three times’ a monopolist - and that’s from the Greek now, ‘monos’, meaning, well, ‘one’, you honor - Why, my trusty slide rule here is tellin’ me that’s a little something we call a triopolist.”
The jury gasps.
“Now, is my client a triopolist? We-hell, guilty as charged, your honor, except… That’s not rightly the charge, is it? By their own admission, I might add, the plaintiff has levelled charges against my client they know to be false and have admitted as much here today, wasting not only my client’s time, but the time of this court! Now, you show me where in them fancy law books it says no company shall hold triopoly on the free market, and I’ll be right back here in my sundee best marchin’ on off to the hoosegow, but until then… Ladies and gentlemen of the jury! If the laws o’ God and man still say one plus one plus one equals three, you must acquit! The defense rests.”
Of course, by this point Google’s CEO has already handed the judge a check for sixty million dollars and flown away in an unmarked helicopter, but you’ve got to admire his commitment.
- Comment on Half-Life 2 is currently 100% for its 20th anniversary 11 months ago:
Both are still showing up full price for me, if that helps.
- Comment on Half-Life 2 is currently 100% for its 20th anniversary 11 months ago:
…Think it’s too late to get a refund?
- Comment on Monster 11 months ago:
Obligatory addendum that as a creation of Victor Frankenstein, calling the monster “a Frankenstein” is no more inaccurate than calling Guernica “a Picasso,” or a 1996 Camry “a Toyota.”
- Comment on I don't want to call Twitter X out of spite, but calling the travesty that is X Twitter is an insult to the people that made Twitter what it was. 1 year ago:
The following is a tremendously disproportionate analogy given that we’re talking about a microblogging website, but I really don’t think there’s any better term for it:
It’s really less like you’re calling Twitter by its deadname and more like you’re refusing to call it by its slave name. Twitter didn’t come up with this on its own, some guy just rolled up and said “I’m changing your name because yours isn’t cool enough.” Like, fukken Kunta Kinte.
Again, very unfortunate that that’s the only comparison that comes to mind but I’m really blanking on anything else. Jean Valjean, I guess. Maybe Darth Vader. Locutus of Borg.