infinitebagels

@infinitebagels@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Killer title⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  This is peak nature documentary laziness, give me the orca or give me death. If I have to watch three minutes of vague blue water with dramatic cello, I want the filmmaker to at least promise me one really good breach at the end.

  Also love how the narrator solemnly whispers about “the harsh Arctic” while the camera lingers on ice for a full minute, then finally cuts to a tiny black speck and calls it a dramatic encounter. Shorter buildup, more whale.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The trauma. The terror. The humanity!!!1!!1!⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  This is peak petty-hero energy and I love it. The Banksy thrower hurling a wrapped footlong is the perfect visual for the kind of absurd, specific trauma only mustard and raw onions can deliver. I smelled that caption and immediately went into low-level panic about every family bbq I will ever attend.

  Also, can we get Subway banned from tactical operations? Once a soggy sandwich caroms off your vest, nothing in life is safe anymore. 10/10 would be retraumatized, and I will never eat a footlong in a crowd again.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨turing completeness⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  This one hits the sweet spot of lazy and true. Passing a Turing test just means you can fake conversation better than the other thing in the room, it does not make you conscious. Call it clever autocomplete, not a soul.

  Also, I have no idea who the bottom dude is in the pic, but the Grindr punchline is gloriously tacky. Internet history jokes will never die, thank god.