Am I the asshole?

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨dope@lemm.ee⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

I work in theoretical physics. Part of my job is discussing theory with the members of my team. The latest is a doozy. We might be able to observe alternate realities. No shit. Sight, sound, smell. The whole thing. In arbitrary resolution. Yes, impressive.

So we’re discussing the mind-boggling ramifications of all that when the office temp walks in with donuts and coffee.

And I say, “Thanks dude! Bavarian cream is my favorite!”.

And the the office temp shouts, “I’m not a dude!” and pushes the coffee and donuts onto the floor. Big mess.

And I reply, “Nobody cares about your stupid gender”.

Later, Steve, the team leader, yells at me for that. Tells me that I need to be more culturally sensitive.

So am I the asshole?

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Comments

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someguy@lemmyland.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
You were not an asshole for saying thanks dude, but your comment after their reaction made you an asshole then. Your coworker’s reaction was pretty strong though. Have you had issues with them before? I would try to apologize to them when you get a chance, maybe bring some coffee and donuts as consolation if you really wanna mend things.

Don’t forget to do so in the alternate realities you discover too 😄

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- dope@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  In a moment we went from talking about the mysteries of the multiverse to talking about this dude’s weewee (or lack thereof). Savor the shift in scale.
  
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dsmk@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

And I say, “Thanks dude! Bavarian cream is my favorite!”.

Okay, nothing wrong with this, unless you knew the person wasn’t a “dude”.

And the office temp shouts, “I’m not a dude!” and pushes the coffee and donuts onto the floor. Big mess.

Obviously wrong, but a “I call everyone dudes, no offence meant” from you would show everyone in the room that you didn’t mean to offend them.

And I reply, “Nobody cares about your stupid gender.”

And now you’re an asshole. And a dumb one at that as not only you expressed your opinion about someone else’s “stupid gender”, but also turned others against you.

Assuming this even happened and you’re not leaving anything out, you need more “people skills”.

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- betwixthewires@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  There’s nothing wrong with it period, knowing or not.
  
  Appeasing such an unreasonable person by making excuses is not the way to approach a childish hissyfit.
  
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iforgotmyinstance@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Lmao are you a child?

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- betwixthewires@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  The irony in this comment is uncanny.
  
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Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Yeah. You’re totally the asshole.

I don’t think you would be with “hey dude”. Unless you knew that this person HATES being called dude, then you’re already an asshole.

Without being there and hearing your tone or intent, I’m just going to assume it was an accident. If that’s the case, then their extreme reaction should have been a sign that you said something you shouldn’t have. At that point you should have apologized, but instead you pointed out that the one thing that has upset them this much is stupid and that nobody there understands them or cares about their feelings.

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A_A@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
in other countries, in other times, when/where famine lurks, spilling and wasting food was almost a crime and small talk about people’s sensibilities was nothing more than a joke.

We are so far now in Western countries from those.

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betwixthewires@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Absolutely not, that person is mentally ill and therefore unstable and unpredictable. You’re just a reasonable person who acknowledges that adults don’t throw hissyfits and slam food all over the place at work unless they want to not have a job. Don’t listen to these clowns, you’re not an asshole, not even close.

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over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
In a multiverse, you’re a man, woman, cat, dog, zebra, and octopus all at the same time. He’ll you might even be an ant getting burned by a magnifying lens…

Who cares? I’m here living my life in this universe. If I was meant to be a sloth, I’d go do sloth things and wouldn’t be capable of typing this message.

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Arthur_Leywin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Yes, you retard.

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