Sounds like a piece of shit to me…NTA
Wtf is he going to do if she dies(really hope she doesn’t)? He should have basic knowledge of how to take care of kids if he’s going to have them.
It’s almost a scene from Idiocracy.
Submitted 2 days ago by boussaadanyoussef867@lemmy.world to [deleted]
Sounds like a piece of shit to me…NTA
Wtf is he going to do if she dies(really hope she doesn’t)? He should have basic knowledge of how to take care of kids if he’s going to have them.
It’s almost a scene from Idiocracy.
I wouldn’t say a PoS but clearly has a lot to learn - and what sounds like a crisis is not the place to do that. And he sounds like he has a lot to learn.
As a father, I believe that at a minimum you should care for your kids at least ONE day every week on your own, preferably more. And not just the fun stuff, either. Make sure it comprises bed time, bath time, making and eating meals, as well as getting the little tykes out of the house. Either parent needs to be able to cope alone, and more importantly, trust that the other can, too.
My suggestion is that he needs to have a frank conversation with his wife, and commit to the above care routine. He needs to be able to do this in a way that allows him to admit he doesn’t know things and get advice. But he does need to do the work and ensure his wife feels supported.
Sure the wording may sound rude, but it’s also perfectly understandable given the circumstances. Kinda seems like both men in your story are not realizing the mental workload your friend and you faced.
I’m really reminded of this classic: You Should’ve Asked
As a man I’ve tried to internalize that comic as hard as I can. Childcare, cleaning, cooking, planning, emotional labor, are jobs everyone needs to do, not just women
rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 1 day ago
Assuming this isn’t just a shitpost:
Yes, calling someone a useless piece of shit when they are trying hard, but failing, at doing something very difficult makes you an asshole. It is the opposite of constructive feedback; it’s just an insult. In case it hadn’t dawned on you, the guy wasn’t just having to solo parent, he was having to solo parent while presumably worried sick about his hospitalized spouse.
Do I blame you for being frustrated and snapping? No, but it doesn’t mean you weren’t a huge asshole in the moment. Own your mistake and apologize if you have the introspective wherewithal and didn’t just make this post seeking validation.