Fuck an OTA update too, I don’t want that either

Yeah no - you’re dead wrong about that. My oldish car has an annoying software glitch and I bet it could be fixed with an OTA update.

It’s not a safety problem, so wouldn’t rigger a recall, and there is no way the manufacture is going to voluntarily do it - that would cost a fortune. When it’s under warranty, they fix it, when it’s out of warranty… it can cost thousands of dollars just to find the problem (the symptom is it goes into limp home mode with a vague ECU error which can be caused by almost anything, power cycle the key to restore normal driving).

The fact it can be fixed with a power cycle means it’s obviously possible to fix it with an OTA update if my vehicle could do OTA updates and they would absolutely do that. The ones that fail under warranty must be costing them a fortune.