When I’m arguing with others, what I really want - at least I like to think I really want - is for us all round to have the best chance at knowing the truth.
One of the best things I’ve learnt is to understand why a person holds their argument, both emotionally and logically/literally. If I understand, then I can affirm the parts we do agree on, the common foundations that help them see I’m not against them, and that give my perception of the truth/answer a chance of having meaning to them too.
It’s uphill work, and often clouded by the fact that deep down I don’t want to be wrong and that makes me ‘fight’ for myself without realising it myself. It also means sometimes I have to swallow my pride about something that’s “obviously right” and “all sensible people know,” and accept I don’t actually have the evidence to show fairly to the other person.
But I find it’s worth it.
intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Haters gonna hate. Keep telling the truth man, these people need us even if they don’t like us.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Agreed. Keep telling the truth. Truth is always precious, and remains true.
But keep humble too. We can be prone to banging on some point that we’re clearly right because no one gives any answer to our rational and reasonable questions/challenges… but there’s some subtlety (or not-so-subtlety) we just didn’t spot that means a lot to the other person and is why they fight what we think is obvious truth. And sometimes we’re just completely wrong!