Cowbee@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Sexuality is a spectrum that doesn’t have clean boundaries. Some people exist in an area that could be considered “straight,” for example, but there aren’t hard walls blocking straight people from leaving or queer people from entering.
The less you try to define your sexuality and the more you try to be comfortable with liking what you like, the happier you’ll be.
eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
+1 to this for sure. Applies for gender identity too. Speaking just for myself, the longer it’s been since I transitioned the less my actual labeled identity has mattered, to the point that I just say “nonbinary” and move on. It’s what makes a lot of the “what is a woman” rhetoric baffling, given the label and definition matters so little in day to day life.
My bf is pretty much straight, but he describes himself as pansexual and attracted to feminine people. It’s cool to see him engage with the queer community despite being more or less able to “pass” as cishet if he wanted to, and his nebulous labeling was really helpful in settling my nerves as a newly-out trans woman. Less worrying about whether or not I was woman enough, more just hearing him say he likes me and that’s that.
Cowbee@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Yep! I feel similar to your bf myself, actually, but I try not to describe myself that way except to people like my partner. I feel that at this point, itd be closer to stolen Valor in my case. I honestly feel it’d put more queer people at odds with me, so I just call myself straight with caveats.
Glad to hear things seem to be going well for you!
eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
It always depends but tbh I hope you feel free to use whatever terminology you find useful to describe yourself! and I think there’s no valor that can be stolen, identity is what you make for yourself. It’s always a joy to learn someone I know is queer in any form. Lots of us have had times where we’ve doubted how we describe ourselves too and gatekeeping labels doesn’t tend to help anyone. You will come across people who do here and there, I did myself, but in my super objective opinion they’re annoying and smell bad. Labels are just tools for further conversation and more people using queer labels is a good thing.