I started writing an annoyed reply then realised that maybe you just have a radically different level of comfort than I do.
I’ll ask some of my friends who are not in the BDSM community for their opinion and I promise to have an honest re-evaluation of my thoughts on this, while taking your perspective to heart.
Please consider that the video does appear to be in a setting where people would be more likely to answer these questions happily. However I am basing that on a few assumptions, so maybe I am mistaken.

I would ask you to consider how your comments come across to others. I’m sure you are simply trying to establish reasonable boundaries for people of your comfort level, and I absolutely respect that, but your comments in response to me were very aggressive from the beginning.
And yes, I do see how my exact complaint with your comments may be related to your point about the video. I will take some time to give that consideration as well.