My God. It’s almost Shakespearean
Comment on I feel like Fediverse users are nicer to each other and more generous with upvotes than reddit.
loudWaterEnjoyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I’ll bet you couldn’t pour !@#$ out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral[size] equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper. On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well… it didn’t really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective… Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us ”normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are ”challenged” persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been ”right”. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally NOT GOOD.
imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Very_Bad_Janet@kbin.social 1 year ago
GatGPT letting it all out.
ShakyPerception@lemmy.world 1 year ago
It’s just such an impressive array of insults. The variety, the scope, the diversity. There’s so much, I’m in awe
IlIllIIIllIlIlIIlI@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Is this the new navy seals copy pasta?
m3t00@lemmy.world 1 year ago
mostly coherent string of words. effort A, form D-, content incomplete next
loudWaterEnjoyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
I will never forget you. Your interaction with me is now burned into my psyche. As I recalled our horrid interaction, my whole body shook in disgust and I broke into a permanent frenzy of anger and confusion–i feel retarded. What you told me was undisputedly the dumbest combination of words uttered in the entire world. I just jumped out my apartment window and killed myself.
This is what you must do. Get up, walk into the middle of the nearest forest and lay down and reflect on what you did. Never utter a syllable out of that cancerous hole in your face again, and allow yourself to decompose to aid the surrounding flora in replacing the oxygen your stupid fucking skull wastes on a daily basis. You almost singlehandedly destroyed mankind by being conscious.
I’m fucking disgusted at the fact that you exist on the same planet as me, and what is worse is that you share similar dna to me. The fact that our DNA is connected, even marginally, is a goddamn abomination and I am going to spiral into a depression very quickly because of this realization. The realization that we both fall under the term “human” and I have to be grouped in with your pathetic existence is disgraceful. I am very traumatized by you. Your body language is fucking atrocious and it bothers me to no end. It’s so pathetic, the way you mope around. You mope around with your shoulders hunched over, lethargically dragging your feet on the floor. You have a thin, fragile frame. You walk around reacting to everything that happens to you. Fuck you. There are horrible, inexcusable things that I would happily do to never interact with you again, even if it was for a brief moment. I will explain what these things are in a list format, because that’s the only way your 7-year old brain stuck in a man’s body will understand it. I would rather…
Withdraw all my money in cash from my multiple bank accounts, get it all together and poop on it.
Give myself big papercuts in all the crevices of my fingers and proceed to dip my hands in salt water.
Stub my big toe over 50 times in one day.
Be told by someone in authority that I will never amount to anything in my life, ever.
Be a literal cuckold.
Get bitch-slapped by a man with rough hands once a day, for every day of my life going forward.
Undergo dramatic negative changes in my lifestyle that would damage my mind and body beyond repair.
Undergo a whole host of different forms of mental and physical humiliation; as in being spat on and told I am worthless.
Be forced to drink non-alcoholic macro-produced beer from the can, while every person around me drinks Trappist beers from exotic chalices for 10 hours straight - for the rest of my life.
Have a procedure done to reduce my IQ so that my new IQ falls within the range of down syndrome.
…than engage in the briefest of interactions with you.
I need you to know that this list is not comprehensive, and that there are many, many more atrocious situations I would prefer to you even coming across my vision.
Instead of continuing to talk about more situations that I would prefer to be in than merely glancing at you, I am going to revert back to what I was talking about before - insulting your character. The reason being that I don’t feel like you have fully comprehended the extent of my negative opinion of you - and why I think this way.
I know I insulted your body language already, but I hate how you look. Its terrible and a tragedy worth crying over. Your clothes don’t look nice - I am very angry about it. It looks like you wore them to seem interesting but it doesn’t make sense to me because you aren’t an interesting person. You should have thought about this before you dressed yourself. You are an ogre. Do not leave your house on a whim - every time you go out, you should think about how you’re going to present yourself to the world for a very, very long time. You should be rigorously micromanaging yourself all the time to appear normal because you are anything but. You have a long and difficult road ahead to become even within the realm of normal, let alone a contributing member to society.
I have no sympathy for you. I feel bad for myself for being forced to interact with you. Its bullshit that you are conscious and had to be in my vision. I will never recover from this - you have singlehandedly jaded my view of the world and made me very hopeless and cynical.
Your character is flawed in a myriad of ways, its an impressive feat that someone could be so grossly incompetent in all areas of human socialization. My disgust for this shows no boundaries; I have been violently puking in 20 minute intervals for days now due to your worthlessness. You’re character is so devoid of any charisma that the only thing to do to would be to force you to change via bullying.
LettuceLeaf@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You’re right, I’m sorry
reichtangle@lemmy.world 1 year ago
New response just dropped
sebinspace@lemmy.world 1 year ago
It’s been… eighty years…