Can I try to gently press that a little?
I would feel awful if I found out I had been enabling someone’s alcoholism, especially if they only allowed it because they trusted me and I offered them drinks. I have ADHD and autism, so I understand making yourself hard and fast rules to avoid having to make your own self control (I’m not saying that’s definitely what you’re doing).
Could you perhaps try gradually increasing the rules one by one so that in the end there’s basically no scenario in which you drink? I’m talking: a trusted person offers it to you; it’s a weekend; it’s nice weather out; your whole house is clean; you’ve got extra cash; you ate healthy that day; you are already in a good mood; your beloved (hopefully incapable, for this situation) sports team has won; you talked to two relatives that day, etc. I’m not a therapist, but that works for me. The problem is when I mess up- my rules are great for keeping me out of trouble, but they make me spiral if/when I do break them. You might have to figure out a combination of zero tolerance for “mistakes” _and _ allowing yourself to make actual mistakes without spiraling.
RonnieB@lemmy.world 9 months ago
DeepFriedDresden@kbin.social 9 months ago
Yeah I'm going to have to agree. I'm an alcoholic myself and this is a problematic way of living with it. Moderation seldom works for alcoholics as it is and by putting your choice to drink on someone else's offerings seems to just be a way to escape any blame should it end in full relapse.
Everybody's journey is different though so I'm not going to judge. But at no point was I able to stop drinking until I straight stopped drinking. As they say "one drink is too much and a hundred isn't enough."
protist@mander.xyz 9 months ago
You may be surprised at the spectrum of human experience. Among those for whom drinking becomes a problem at some point in their life, a substantial majority are actually able to moderate or regulate their drinking, either on their own or with limited support. There are a subset of problem drinkers who absolutely cannot do this though, and those for whom a single drink can send them spiralling.
I’m not saying what that other guy is doing is smart, but like you said, everybody’s journey is different
DeepFriedDresden@kbin.social 9 months ago
Problem drinking and alcoholism aren't the same though. 9 out of 10 excessive drinkers aren't alcohol dependent. So yeah, while many people who at some point have a problem with drinking can learn to moderate without future issues, I don't know if most of them would fall into the alcohol dependency category.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
RonnieB@lemmy.world 9 months ago
DeepFriedDresden@kbin.social 9 months ago
When I replied, you didn't have all of that info in there. Good for you though, if it works then great!