These are the official diagnostic criteria, which helped to open my eyes and stop drinking:

• Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than intended.
• There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.
• A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain, use, or recover from the effects of alcohol.
• Craving, or a strong desire or urge to use alcohol.
• Recurrent alcohol use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home.
• Continued alcohol use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of alcohol.
• Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of alcohol use.
• Recurrent alcohol use in situations in which it is physically hazardous.
• Alcohol use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by alcohol.
• Tolerance, as defined by either a need for markedly increased amounts of alcohol to achieve intoxication or desired effect, or a markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount.
• Withdrawal, as manifested by either characteristic withdrawal syndrome for alcohol or alcohol (or a closely related substance) is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.

In a 12 month period:

• 2 - 4 criteria met: mild
• 4 - 5: moderate
• 6+: severe